Pieces of Me

New Post coming soon...

2008-04-09T21:58:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone - just a quick note to say that I plan to resume posting in May....and then hope to post once a week or every other week...

Intentional Time

2008-01-17T07:28:00.000-05:00

I was reading an entry from Dane Sanders blog around Christmas time and listened to him and his wife talk about using your time intentionally - whether it is intentional family time, intentional work time, intentional quiet time, intentional cleaning the house time...That really struck me...not because I don't strive to be intentional with my time - but because every moment is not intentional. IT is so easy to get distracted and veer off course. We are only given so many moments in life, and I want to use them with fervor. I want to really have time with my kids where I am intentionally playing with them or doing school work with them or listening to them - and in the process, I want to ignore the phone, because it isn't talk on the phone time. I guess this is along the same lines as purposeful living - but for some reason breaking it down into time made it more specific for me.

This is something I really want to work on daily in this new year and forever. I know God does things with a specific intention and purpose in mind, maybe we don't know it right now, but He does.

I will not be blogging at all in the next 2 1/2 months. Just trying to get through the day, doing what I have to do, being intentional with my time, following a commitment I have made.

Hugs -

How do we pray???

2008-01-03T21:26:00.000-05:00

No - I am not making any New Year's Resolutions and posting them here for all to see. Honestly, I evaluate, make goals, reevaluate them and try again, all the time. I say all the time - because I never attain them, but I always want to get better at the same things. Being consistent with ANYTHING - my prayer life, time with God, exercise, eating habits, scheduled time, focused time with kids, discipline, cleaning, etc. I could go on and on. So - I am not making any new goals that I know I won't ever actually reach - but there are lots of things I am constantly trying to get better at and striving more to be like Christ daily. (I know there is that saying that "you will never reach your goal if you aren't aiming at anything." -but we usually know what we need to improve and I like to jot little things down in my calendar each week/month.)

Funny things my kids have said this week:

While my three year old was playing in the TOILET with her "little people" (Polly Pockets, Kelly dolls, Fisher Price people, etc), I tell her to quickly GET HER HANDS OUT OF THE TOILET - while she calmly replies - "But mommy, my people need an ocean to swim in." :)

She also told me at Qdoba last night that she wanted brown Sprite for her drink. We don't drink pop at home, so they are so excited to go out for kids night and get a little pop!

My older daughter woke up crying with a bad dream and couldn't sleep last night. She dreamed that we were at the zoo driving in daddy's truck. We went over a bump and she fell out of the back.....that is it. I am so sorry she was scared, but so thankful that that was the extent of her scary dream.

Christmas was really nice in our house - pretty healthy, the girls are at a great age, good to spend family time together. I know everyone's holiday wasn't full of fun and laughter, and I am genuinely sorry if you had a rough one. I know ours won't always be great, but I am thankful for this one and I pray that in some way you will be encouraged in this new year.

PRAYER
I was really convicted upon reading a blog entry from Bill Rudd. You can read the whole entry HERE. I honestly don't know this man, but stumbled across his blog at one point. I believe he is a pastor and I have really enjoyed reading his posts from time to time. Anyway, he is discussing prayer and how we tend to pray for good health for our kids, good friends, loving spouse, etc. - and that is nice, but is that really exactly how God wants us to pray? I know I can't explain it as eloquently as he did, so I have copied a portion of it.

Do I really want God to be glorified in the lives of our children no matter what it takes? Is the glory of God more important than the comfortableness of my family? Am I willing to pray that God would be honored even if it is through great suffering in the lives of those for whom I would gladly die to protect them from the slightest pain?

I’m struggling, but finding myself increasingly asking God to glorify Himself through our children and grandchildren and leaving the details of “how” to His infinitely wise, loving, and eternal plan. Of course I want them spared from pain, and often ask for that without sense of guilt or selfishness. But I find myself whispering what our Lord exampled for us, “Nevertheless not my will but Yours be done.”

“Lord teach me to pray and to love Your glory more than anything. Thank you for assuring me that you are always good and that you love my children more than I ever could.”

Definitely something to think about, pray about.

What type of a Christmas Shopper are you?

2007-12-22T07:53:00.000-05:00

Do you have everything purchased and wrapped before Thanksgiving? Do you shop a little here and there all year? Do you wait until the last minute? Do you just wait and give them when you get around to it later?

I like to shop ahead - make my lists and give them to the grandmas...and then for some reason, it takes me several weeks to decide on the right gift - lots of purchases, lots of returns - and then when I am ready and have finally made up my mind...it is sold out everywhere! Funny! And inevitably, every Christmas I promise myself not to get the kid anything next year b/c they get so many gifts from everyone else! It feels so greedy...we really don't need anything - material anyway. I know I need more patience and discipline? Where can you buy those?

My five year old wants clothes and boots...How do these little girls just fall in love with fashion at 5???? She definitely has more fashion sense then me already!

I have learned that for a mom like me - shopping the midnight hours or the early morning hours are the BEST! No traffic, hardly any lines, nice unhurried people...Although some people prefer the crowds and the traffic. I lost my phone at Kohls a few days ago, but a nice lady found it and turned it in. Thank you nice lady!

I do love that at Christmas time we can share our love with other people by giving them gifts - whether gifts of time, handmade items, or some item we think they will like. Obviously Jesus Christ and the eternal life He offers us through His death, atonement, and resurrection is the greatest gift ever given.

I was thinking about Mary (His mom) the other day. There are several songs written about her (and Joseph for that matter) and I heard one while shopping. Can you even imagine what it would be like to be told that you would be having God's Son. That you would be impregnated without any physical contact. We get frustrated when our plans are not God's - but WOW! -that could've been quite the inconvenience. They were obedient and willing and trusting. Are we like that? Is our faith active and trusting and willing?

Hmmmm I am not sure about that...but I will work on that. Maybe I will ask God for an active faith this holiday and this year.

Walking Her Home

2007-12-13T00:37:00.000-05:00

Can you imagine that you are 65 and your mother is very sick. Your wife is sick too – but your mother is dying. You are visiting with her in Colorado, trying to spend time with her during her last moments. You get a call that your wife has taken a turn for the worst in Indiana and hospice has been called. Therefore you leave Colorado and your dying mother to be with your wife. Two days later, your mother passes away. In that same day, your wife passes on a few hours later.

That happened to a friend of ours last week. That is one hard day here on earth. I love the following song and the assurance it offers God’s children regarding death. It is written and sung by Mark Schultz. I heard this song in the summer on vacation when I was driving in my car. As I listened, I was enjoying the message and then it got to the end...and then I really listened and heard the message. Wow! It is powerful - totally worth listening to. Pay close attention to the final part of the song as these two sweethearts face eternity together … and the sweetness that is promised when assurance of moving on into the Savior's presence is in the heart of the believer.

Walking Her Home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus)
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

(Chorus)

He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out

But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Now if you have a sweetheart, go give him/her a kiss and tell him how much you appreciate him and look forward to growing old together. If you don't, pray for someone else or for yourself to eventually have that type of relationship. If you want to have that same assurance of life in Heaven, please email me - and I would be glad to share with you how to have that peace.

Much love...

As is!

2007-12-06T07:06:00.000-05:00

One thing I love about photographs is the opportunity they afford to remember something as is! It is so tempting sometimes to want to change our kids into their nicest clothes or make sure they match or are perfectly clean - next time you feel the urge to do so - DON'T DO IT! or Don't do it right away...At least take a snapshot of them AS IS first! Tara Whitney is an amazing photographer who has that philosophy. Check out her blog and some of her images HERE. Here are just a couple of my kiddos that I love...

Now the real challenge is taking those photos of yourself:) I have a few - but I won't share them here...at least not now. One is of me after a soccer game this summer. It was pouring rain and very hot and humid. I look hilarious - red shorts, green shirt - nothing matches - soaking wet - BUT it was a great memory b/c I had so much fun and felt so much like me!!!

A few more cute little kid sayings...

2007-12-03T21:37:00.000-05:00

My five year old was playing with her dollhouse today. She was pretending that the mommy had a baby in her tummy and the doctor was coming to visit. I heard the mommy say to the doctor, "Today while I was outside playing, I fell and scraped my knee. That is how the baby got into my tummy." Ha - if only it were that easy:)

The littler one was telling me that she needed to "learn" me how to stretch like she did in ballet class. She told Kevin later tonight that I "learned" her how to button her buttons on her shirt.

I wish in twenty years I could just replay all of these cute little things I know I will forget!!!

What's a Honkey?

2007-12-03T01:56:00.000-05:00

So we decorated for Christmas tonight...at least we started. It actually looks like we just moved in b/c of the boxes all around. I won't share too many details but my favorite part of the night was when my three year old and I were reading a book about Jesus' Birth. We were talking about each page and the different parts of the story when I asked her what animal carried Mary all the way to Bethlehem. In all seriousness, she says "That's a honkey mommy." A honkey!!! How cute is that?

I didn't correct her yet. It was just too wonderful. The wonderful that only a little kid with a sweet little voice creates.

She also sings Jingle Bells like this (while shaking her hips back and forth):
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way.
Oh more fun it is to wide on my old roller blades.
(Again, she really thinks these are the words)

Don't you wish you were three so that when you were singing a song and you used the wrong lyrics you would be cute - instead of kind-of dumb sounding?

Here are two pics from the night. One is of the littlest "honkey" lover.

The other is an ornament that I gave my husband in 9th grade:). He is now a basketball coach. Cute huh?

Have a great week!

Check out the contest

2007-11-29T22:39:00.001-05:00

Two of the photographers blogs that I read regularly hosted image contests over Thanksgiving. They were looking for images that show us why we are thankful. I entered both - not with the photos that were the best technically - good lighting, composition, etc. - BUT I picked ones that had the most meaning. It was a great exercise, because I felt like every single photo I looked at had at least one thing I was thankful for. It made me even more aware of how blessed I am - even in the mundane of life.

One of my images was chosen as a finalist for a contest held on Me Ra Koh 's blog. You can check it out - it is number 5. I learned of this photographer and her husband at a workshop I attended. She is very generous and does a lot to teach moms (And dads:)) how to take better pics of her kids. She has also been through a few rough times and written a book about it. She is an inspiration to me.

Jessica Claire is the other photographer who held a contest. She is one of the most amazing photographers out there. I love the color and clarity of her photos - and she is extremely creative.

So here are three of my favorite pics I saw as I was looking through my archives.

I am thankful for JOY. It goes deeper than happiness and is rooted in the true love of Jesus Christ. It isn't dependent on it's circumstances.

I am thankful for INNOCENCE and pray that my children will retain that as long as possible.

I am thankful for the toys that lay all over the floor and drive me crazy. They are a reminder of the little blessings God has given our family.

Check our Me Ra if you get a chance.

Raking the Leaves Part 2

2007-11-28T09:31:00.001-05:00

Thankfully - we had more leaves fall:)! This time, they weren't wet, and it was so much more fun. This is more of how I remember raking leaves!

We had a great time and the process was a reflection of our family. Dad went out working earlier than anyone else, never took a break, never complained, and stayed until the job was completed and cleaned up. Mom went out after a while, raked for some time, got distracted and took some pictures, raked some more, helped the kids with something else, took some more pictures, etc. Both kids jumped and played in the leaf piles for a time and then the oldest child didn't rake at all and rode her bike through the leaves. The youngest child literally helped for a long time with a joyful spirit.

the leaf boogey - getting the leaves off

Raking the Leaves Part 1

2007-11-26T01:38:00.000-05:00

The entire day before Thanksgiving and the night before it rained. No - let me change that - it POURED! We have four very big and very old trees with lots of leaves. They seem to fall last in our neighborhood and hadn't fallen yet. However, the rain forced almost all of them to the ground. So we were greeted with muddy, wet, heavy leaves that lovely morning.

When my husband suggested raking the leaves, I wasn't thrilled to spend several hours on Thanksgiving, in the very cold weather, raking slimy wet leaves. But we did.

Here is the bright spot - the part I am thankful for....Every once in a while, my rake would uncover a brightly colored red or yellow leaf. They were gorgeous! and brought a smile to my face. Just being together with family should have made me thankful - many people don't have that.

Our daughters only lasted about 20 min. It was really cold and the leaves were hard to move. I see the girls peeking out the window and go over to see what was up. My oldest - in typical fashion for her - says "We didn't really want to get dirty and cold so we decided to come inside and have makeovers!" So funny...

Thankful

2007-11-21T23:36:00.000-05:00

Just a few of the 1000s of things I am thankful for...

lollipops and messy smiles

tinkerbell and being free

walks on the beach in your jammies with daddy

fleeting moments like this

I hope that you can have a Happy Thanksgiving today!

Today's peace

2007-11-20T07:30:00.000-05:00

EDITED 11:00AM: Praise God - everything looks good!

Today I go in for a mammogram and an ultrasound. Yes I have had a mammogram before – 5 months ago actually…a screening mammogram since I am high risk - a screening mammogram at age 31. Now I have a lump. Yes – I have a lump. Like millions of other women I have a lump. It is probably nothing. The doctor isn’t worried – I am really not worried – It seems to come and go with my cycle. Not extremely abnormal – for the most part…except that my mom had a lump. My aunt had a lump. Both of my grandmas had a lump. The doctors thought it was nothing. But it wasn’t – it was something. My mom’s something was hidden by a cyst…one that was hormonal…one that the doctors thought had been there for possibly 8 years. 8 YEARS! So, today I go to the doctor to find out if my lump is nothing or if it is something. And I feel God’s peace – the peace that passes all understanding and I am thankful.

Our 1st ballet recital

2007-11-15T23:07:00.000-05:00

The girls were determined not to participate - the youngest fell asleep in the car on the way there. She woke up once we walked in and plugged her ears for the first 5 minutes (she does that when she is scared) The oldest was sucking her thumb like crazy and holding her bear - but thankfully they both had about 30minutes to play around before the recital and loosened up! Also, we were sitting in the front row and I think that really helped. Here are a few pics my mom so graciously took for us! It was really dark and hard to get a good shot, but you can get the idea:)

Princess dresses, hair bows, makeup, dancing...a little girls' heaven!

the sisters

mentally preparing :) ...

she actually did a really good job!

she didn't really want to let us take her picture - but she was soooo sweet!

Great thoughts...

2007-11-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

How are you??? We are doing well - had a good week! Plan to post some pics tomorrow...
Yesterday I was buying a card for a friend and saw another card with following written on it:

Now to Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory…
Ephesians 3:20, 21

When you are the neediest,
He is the most sufficient.
When you are completely helpless,
He is the most helpful.
When you feel totally dependent,
He is absolutely dependable.
When you are the weakest,
He is the most able.
When you are the most alone,
He is intimately present.
When you feel you are the least,
He is the greatest.
When you feel the most useless,
He is preparing you.
When it is the darkest,
He is the only Light you need.
When you feel the least secure,
He is your Rock and Fortress.
When you are the most humble,
He is most gracious.

When you can’t, He can.

TRUST in that. Like the song says:
He is able more than able
To accomplish what concerns me today
He is able more than able
To handle anything that comes my way
He is able more than able
To do much more than I could ever dream
He is able more than able
To make me what He wants me to be.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have over-come the world. John 16:33

What is your outlook?

2007-11-07T13:41:00.000-05:00

Where is your focus? What is your attitude?

While I was exercising today, I saw on the Today show Augie and Lynne Nieto. He has ALS/Lou Gehrig's Syndrome. It was inspiring and humbling to watch he and his wife talk. ALS is a one of those diseases that affects your body but not your mind. Something he said really hit me. When asked how he keeps a positive attitude and how he keeps fighting, he said "You have two choices in life. You can celebrate what you can do...or you can mourn what you can't do."What a great quote! He is trying to focus on the positives. We should all try doing that - even just for one day!

Inside my head personal posts...

2007-10-27T21:21:00.000-05:00

I have SOOOO much on my mind, but not much that I can share in any public forum. Some people that I care for and love have had the most horrifying week of their lives. Reputations have been shattered - possibly needlesly and unfoundedly (is that a word?)...families in peril...broken, shattered hearts. I know that goes on every day of every week - but not always in my small little world. It is very hard for me to process. But I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that God is good ALL THE TIME.

Personally, my husband and I had a wonderful few days in Key Largo prior to the rough week. We spent some time away from the kids and reality. It was wonderful and relaxing. There isn't a whole lot to do around the area - but we played tennis, exercised, read, relaxed in the pool (they had 2 large pools and 2 hot tubs and we were the only ones there two of the days), went snorkeling, drove to Key West (but couldn't find a place to park and just went to the bathroom before driving back), ate yummy food, and just enjoyed spending time together and being free. Here is a picture of one of my favorite places we ate. It is called Marker 88 and was so peaceful and beautiful...on the water, live music, torches lit, delicious food - It was lovely.

We like to exercise and be healthy on vacation - not obsessively...but since we have been home, I have been a PIG - stress eating. Not good.

Okay - let me close with a picture I like from a recent senior session. I am not sure that I like it tilted, but for the most part I like the composition.

Here are just a few more...This guy is an awesome musical artist - sings and writes...Thanks for looking!

Tough five year old questions

2007-10-16T01:03:00.000-05:00

So my daughter looked at me from across the desk today. Her eyes a little worried. She asked hesitantly, "Mom when are you going to die? Like - in a long, long, long, long....really long time? like a nanny or poppy? I just don't understand...that."

Yes, my heart sunk. After I picked it off the floor and refused to let my tear ducts open, we had a really great talk. We talked about how some mommies and daddies live to be nannies and poppies. But some other mommies and daddies get to go to heaven a little sooner. She shared with me how her favorite place in the whole world is heaven. We talked about how when we die - whoever dies first will just be waiting up in heaven for the rest of us. That is where we get to go because we love Jesus and He is our Saviour.

Man - tough questions - ones that make me really want to cry. Why? Because every parent has to have some fear of leaving their children before it is time...before it is our time - it may be God's time though. I just pray for complete trust in God in that area. It doesn't come naturally:). I am thankful, however, that I KNOW we will be together in heaven because of the willful choice we have made to be forgiven of our sins and to live for Christ.

Sneak Peek

2007-10-13T09:14:00.000-05:00

Love this family and had a great time snapping some pics of them!

Gotta love a mom of four boys!

dad and son...

the boys...

Blessings!!! usually unnoted!

2007-10-12T14:22:00.000-05:00

Our family is finally feeling better. I still have a nagging cough - but we figured out what was wrong with kat with some abdominal xrays last weekend and kevin survived a bad back and we are on the mend!!! I wanted to share an awesome poem another mom wrote. I can't give her credit b/c I don't know her name (niemen?)!!! So if you wrote this, please tell me! It is such a good reminder of what matters and the proper attitude!

Counting Our Blessings

I'm blessed with a sink full of dirty dishes that greets me everyday and every evening without fail...
It means I have been able to put three meals a day on the table for 10 people.

I'm blessed with walls smudged with finger paint and carpet stiff with play-dough...
It means the happy hands of children have been creative.

I'm blessed that my favorite shopping spot is the bargain fabric table at WalMart, where the fabric sells for a dollar a yard...
It means I can make 8 beautiful Christmas outfits for all our children for under $15.

I'm blessed with a clothes drier, a microwave, and a dishwasher that all broke down within one week of one another...
It means we have a roof over our heads.

I'm blessed with the task of trying to find lost library books under the furniture, and occasionally paying over-due fines...
It means my children love to read.

I'm blessed with a hallway littered with a tangle of shoes of all sizes...
It means I have 16 walking, running, jumping, steady and joyful feet to put them on.

I'm blessed with the soft murmurs and hushed giggles of little girls staying up too late talking...
It means my daughters will always know the sweet joy of having sisters.

I'm blessed with two messy, loud, rambunctious, smelly, naughty little twin boys who came crashing unexpectedly into our lives...
It means my sons will always know the warmth and love of a brother.

I'm blessed with a husband who sometimes gets home late...
It means I have a husband who comes home.

I'm blessed with college students who drop by at all hours of the day and night, often with laundy in tow...
It means our ministry is touching hearts and lives for Jesus.

I'm blessed with a brood of children who constantly clamor for another baby to hold...
It means they must feel there is plenty of love to spare and therefore plenty of love to share.

I'm blessed with yet another home pregnancy test with a little pink plus sign...
It means that God has seen fit to breathe an eternal soul into a clump of cells and give us a new child to love.

I'm blessed by the daily comments of passer-by who inform me that my hands must be full...
They remind me that my heart is full as well.

I'm blessed to realize that the things that daily can exasperate and overwhelm me are the proof of God's unending love and faithfulness in our lives.

Count your blessings today!!!

a little rough spot

2007-10-02T18:19:00.001-05:00

above: heavy glass dining room light that just fell onto the table

above: French door in back of house that just shattered into a million pieces a few days ago

Since writing last, things haven't necessarily taken a turn for the better...yet. Do you ever wonder - Is God trying to teach me something? or Is Satan trying to discourage me? or Do I need to refocus? or All of the above? Anyway, I am feeling better for sure, but still not 100%. Still coughing and having a hard time sleeping.

Last week on Weds, I heard a loud thud - ran downstairs to see that our dining room table light "randomly" fell from the ceiling and onto the table. It is very heavy and glass and I am so thankful no one was sitting there! The next day, I heard a loud noise - ran downstairs to hear what sounded like a fire crackling - but is was actually my back door shattering within itself into a million pieces. A week later you can still hear the cracking. My nice neighbor came over and duck-taped it to brace it for now. The next day, my five-year old came home from school with a fever, diarrhea, vomiting for the night and severe stomach cramps. These cramps are still with us and kept Kat and I up from 12:45-5:15 this morning. I then couldn't get back to sleep from the coughing. It is going to be hard to get better without sleep! We took the little one to the doctor to make sure it wasn't appendicitis or something - her daddy's ruptured when he was 5. They were worried this morning and considered sending us to the Children's ER at the hospital - but thankfully they think it might just be gas and some blockage stuff. Sleep sure sounds good now! I know things will get better and this is just a little phase - a very small phase compared to what some people have to go through...but I am still tired.:) Thanking God for the fact that this little thing is our biggest thing right now.

Pneumonia

2007-09-25T09:31:00.000-05:00

That would explain why I have been feeling so bad for so long. It is funny - I have hardly done anything over the last two weeks and our house is still standing - people are still happy...It just goes to show how easy it is to fill up our time with things we think we have to do - when really the things we NEED to do our much less...hmmm...simplify... What a novel concept!

Prior to this, I was actually in better shape than I have been in in several years. I had even lost a few pounds. Now I haven't exercised in almost 3 weeks! Yikes - it is hard to start over...Oh well - I have enjoyed my quieter lifestyle and just pray that the rest of the family stays healthy!!

love, me

The Ferris Wheel

2007-09-21T22:08:00.000-05:00

Have you ridden on one of these lately? Do you know how high they are?

I took my girls to a county fair and allowed them to ride on three rides. We walked through the area where all the kiddy rides are and I asked them "Which ride would you like to go on first?"

Yep. They said "The Ferris Wheel." My 3 year old and 5 1/2 year old daughters chose the grown-up (not the kiddy) ferris wheel! Completely expecting them to freak out and change their minds at the front, I said okay...Nope - they did it. I was terrified when we stopped at the very top and the girls kept trying to look over the edges...I imagined us freefalling to the ground! AND - the older I get, the less I can handle moving rides...

The girls had a great time though!

My fairy tale...

2007-09-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

I have felt so crummy for the last two weeks... Since being a mom, I hardly ever get sick - I mean really sick. The kind-of sick where you lay on the floor or couch or whatever is closest by and don't talk to anyone, don't read, don't watch tv, don't eat - don't do anything except be miserable and rest. Which - I should be resting. But when I lay down, I feel like an elephant - a really heave one - is sitting on my chest. Like I am going to suffocate. Do you think there are any invisible elephants in my house?

Thankfully - this is currently the worst of my worries. There are so many other worse things to deal with...So - this has been on my mind lately:

My FAMILY...and the huge blessing they are to me! I could add our parents and siblings too... I have so much more to add to this, but you get the gist ~ THIS is my fairy tale! Thank you Lord!

These Three Qualities - Group Writing Project

2007-09-16T04:42:00.000-05:00

MommyZabs is hosting a writing project! Her topic is "These three qualities make me a better..." (student, blogger, athlete, reader, mother, etc.) You can write three words or elaborate such as I have. She is offering a prize to one person and it is a great way to get more links to your blog. If you want to participate, go HERE.

These three qualities make me a better wife:

Student
Servant
Christ-follower

There are plenty of other qualities that I could include - but I will stick with these three for my husband. In my opinion, every husband needs a wife with different qualities to help complement him. I chose these three because:

STUDENT - A student is any person who studies, investigates, or examines thoughtfully (dictionary.com) As a student, I am constantly learning. I am open to criticism and willing to learn from my own mistakes, from people around me. I seek advice. I want to learn to be a better wife - I want to work on this consistently. As long as I remember that I haven't obtained "perfect wifeness" and always have more to learn, I will also remain humble.

SERVANT - I want to lift my husband's needs above my own. I want to serve him and live unselfishly. Again - promoting humility and thinking of Him first.

CHRIST-FOLLOWER - Jesus Christ is the ultimate model of love. To love my husband fully and unconditionally, I need to be more like Christ and study His Character.

Fear of Failure

2007-09-16T04:22:00.001-05:00

Fearing Failure - This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Ever since I was in middle school and probably younger, I have feared failure. Or maybe it would make more sense to say that I have feared letting people down (I am a die hard people-pleaser) and that is what I consider to be failure. Do you know that I have never danced at a wedding b/c I am so afraid of what people will think that it makes me feel sick?

We are going to fail. We are going to disappoint people - it is inevitable. So, for me - it is crucial to not seek other people's approval as my main goal. I am completely imperfect. I cannot keep everyone happy. And I do mess up - This week I had quite a humbling experience which has just driven home the fact that I am going to fail. No matter what my intentions or what my effort - it is humanly impossible for me to not fail.

So how do we live daily knowing we are going to screw up? FOCUS ON CHRIST. Seek to please Him in all that we do. (Colossians 3:23-24 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...It is the Lord Christ you are serving".) He has already forgiven us and continues to - daily, moment by moment ( Psalm 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." ). He knows we aren't perfect. He will give us strength and He will extend grace and mercy. Focus on those truths - and bathe in His unconditional love for you.

MENU PLAN MONDAY

2007-09-11T14:59:00.000-05:00

This website is a great resource of menu ideas. It has links to people who post their menus for each week! I am trying to do this at home this year, so when I can, I will post it here with a recipe or two. Have a great week!

Monday: Walleye lightly breaded and lightly fried, steamed broccoli, rolls, jello

Tuesday: Dinner Out (Every Tuesday is :)

Weds: Italian Baked Shells, salad, bread

Thursday: Chicken Ceasar Salad, canned soup, bread

Friday: Date with hubby (hopefully)

Saturday: Fruit crepes with yogurt and cream cheese for breakfast, camping at night...hot dogs and smores:)

Sunday: Crescent Chicken Squares and Orange Mousse jello, salad

Italian Baked Shells Recipe - super easy
1 box shells
1.5 jars of spaghettis sauce
1 16 oz container of cottage cheese
2 c. mozzarella cheese
2 c. cheddar cheese
Parmesan Cheese

1. Boil shells and drain in cold water.
2. Mix cheeses and stuff shells.
3. Cover bottom of casserole dish with a little sauce and place shells in dish. Cover shells with sauce.
4. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top.
Bake for 30-45 min. at 325 degrees.

Chicken Caesar Salad Recipe
Marinate 1-1.5 pounds of chicken in Italian Dressing or Garlic Expressions or some type of marinade.

Mix:
2 bags of romaine lettuce
8 oz. cooked penne pasta
some croûtons
some grape tomatoes cut in half
1/2 c. Asiago or Parmesan cheese

Dressing is 1/2 bottle of Ceasar Dressing and 3-4 T. of red wine vinegar.

One of those days

2007-09-08T14:07:00.000-05:00

I knew yesterday was going to be one of those days - because it started out with me doing the laundry...more specifically A LOAD OF TOWELS. Some women may know what I mean by that (I know my good friend Colleen will:). That means that I have neglected the laundry for so long that the only way to make it look like there is less laundry is to do a load of towels. Towels are bulky and towels are easy to fold and put away.

Yes - the day got worse...BUT I wanted to share an awesome quote with you. I am not sure who said it but here goes:

"The deeper and darker the valley, the higher and more glorious the mountaintop."

Praying with you today that you will seek the mountaintop and focus there instead of your troubles today! and Praising God that He is with you every step of the way!

Thank you Lord

2007-09-05T05:46:00.001-05:00

I woke up to my alarm at 5:58am this morning. I have a print project I need to start and finish:) today. Without consciously making myself be thankful, my mind just started thanking God as I made my way downstairs (or maybe it was the Holy Spirit's prompting).

Thank you God for a mind to imagine.
Thank you Lord for hands to create.
Thank you Lord for legs to walk.
Thank you Lord for water to drink. (I am not a coffee drinker normally)
Thank you Lord for quiet mornings and sleeping children.
Thank you Lord for my own room to work in and be inspired by....

Honestly, it just kept going. We have so many blessings and I am thankful that God brought them to the forefront of my mind today.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3

More fun than I thought...

2007-08-26T22:51:00.000-05:00

I dread my kids growing older. I think all moms have a tad bit of that feeling in them. The dread that they won't need us or want us anymore. They won't think we are amazing and booteeful (as Meg calls me) and so smart. At least I don't know many teenagers who think their parents are "all that." Kat is five now and she is really able to do some fun things. I didn't think about this part of growing up. In the last two weekends, she has gone waverunning with us - she loved it and screamed and laughed the whole time! She rode several miles with us on a tandem bike - which I need to post pictures of. We rode to get ice cream and to the park last weekend and took both girls on a long path today and to a ropes course park - which they both climbed to the top or close to it. We got a seat for Meg (3 years old) and a ride and pedal behind for Kat and it is so worth it. She went bumper bowling last week too. Next week, I am taking her rock climbing. I like this stage. She still likes us and thinks we know everything, but she is more independent (not too independent though:)

Praying that you can enjoy whatever stage it is that you are in.

Visiting Grandma and Grandpa

2007-08-16T22:28:00.000-05:00

We just took a days drive to visit Grandma and Grandpa - visited Sesame Place - stayed two days with them visiting them in the nursing home/independent living home - and drove home a day. It wasn't easy per se...but was good. We don't do long drives that often, but God allowed us to have a wonderful car trip. I get really anxious in the car and He provided wonderful weather, pain management for my husband's back ,and wonderful behavior from the kids. We got lost many times but were able to work through it and learn patience.

Sesame Place was hot and crowded, but ultimately we enjoyed ourselves...probably could have spent $200 in a better way, but enjoyed more time together. The best 15 seconds was on the big water slide when my three year old screamed out "This is fun daddy!"

We visited Grandma in the nursing care facility. (Which by the way, is wonderful...great meals, very patient and gentle staff...) Initially her speech was slurred and she was very thin and frail...but she had two really good alert days with us. She took three walks in PT at one point and worked hard. She is a real trooper...not sure that I would want to push through the pain at 86 years old. She hadn't eaten in 5 days - and ate a few meals while we were there. Her stomach is too sensitive to pain medication, so she is off all of it (Can you imagine have a broken hip just repaired, a broken vertebrae, and knee that needs to be replaces and lots of arthritis and having no pain medication?) She needs help getting dressed and going to the restroom but she really tried to keep a good attitude. She wanted the girls to see her at her best.

Watching her and my Grandpa interact at this point in their life was breathtaking. Grandpa is staying downstairs in the Independent Living area of the facility while she is upstairs with the long term nursing care or rehabilitation. He visits her frequently in his scooter. When he leaves, he uses a lot of energy to move off the scooter, carry his oxygen, balance with his artificial leg, reach across her bed to kiss her and then tell her he loves her. They have been married 60 years. Those times were real tear jerkers.

When we left, my 5 year old prayed for her and Grandpa. I held Grandma in my hands, kissed her cheek and told her I loved her and we were proud of her. I do and we are. I covered her up in her bed and wondered if after we left, she would slip away to heaven in her sleep. She didn't - but had to be on oxygen for some of the day - first time for that.

Getting old isn't easy. There is only so much we can control. Our body breaking down is inevitable. I am praying that you can know the peace of God and have hope through Him and what He did for you on the cross when you reach that point in your life. I am praying for peace for Grandma and Grandpa and salvation for Grandpa.

Here are just a few pictures from the few days we were gone:
Nanny and Kat doing OT together...

Poppy and Meg on the scooter:

Kat and Abby Cadaby:

My Baby

2007-08-16T22:24:00.001-05:00

fell on her face! Yikes!

1955 Article - SO FUNNY!

2007-08-06T13:19:00.001-05:00

This is SO FUNNY! IT was an actual article posted in Good Housekeeping. Click on the article to see more clearly and large enough to read. My how times have changed:).

More Vacation Pics...

2007-08-03T04:52:00.001-05:00

Both girls were swimming by the time we left - so that was really nice! The little one keeps her eyes WIDE open under water the whole time. It is quite funny!

Pictures from trip

2007-08-02T06:43:00.000-05:00

It has been a week since we returned from our wonderful vacation and I guess it is time for me to get back into reality. I remember this feeling when school would start every year and we had to start getting up early and it was so hard at the beginning.

The kids have been excited to be home but have asked many times if we can go back to the Beach House. Kevin and I decided to do a little detox to cleanse our systems from all the junk we have had the last six months. We have done The Fast Track One-Day Detox Diet: Boost metabolism, get rid of fattening toxins, safely lose up to 8 pounds overnight and keep them off for good a few times before. It is really an eleven day program. It is basically cutting out gluten, refined sugar, caffeine, alcohol, moldy foods, etc. - then a one day fast - then three days of building back good bacteria into your system with regular food.

Okay - here are some pics. I'll show some today and some tomorrow. (I posted them at low resolution and am not sure if this is too many - let m know if there are any problems!)

the views from our condo

at the aquarium

my handsome and sweet brother who is still single by the way:)

the amazing sunsets from our porch

on the other side of the sunset...a rainbow!

TIME

2007-07-26T08:05:00.001-05:00

is good for many things...spaghetti sauce for example or a new job or a relationship. Kevin and I have been married for ten years now - how does time go that quickly?? Watch out newlyweds - soon enough you will be telling everyone to enjoy life because it goes so quickly! In a marriage - or any relationship for that matter - time changes things. Things are so exciting and new at the beginning and then the wear of life sets in. Yesterday ~ time was a good thing. Kevin just gets me. He knows what I can handle and what I can't - and he has learned to help me and compliment me in those areas instead of criticize me. For example, I have always been horrible at packing. For some reason, I am never done on time and I get stressed out to my eyeballs and usually cry for no apparent reason. I also hate flying on the small claustrophobic-type planes. So, Kevin totally took over - had almost all of the packing done 24 hours early - all of the cleaning - When we got on the plane, he was so gentle and encouraging and kissed me on my head asked how I was doing. That may sound so ridiculous to you - but he didn't say he was trying to help me out or do anything out of the norm - and I wasn't asking. See I try to do things on my own, but I really NEED him. It was just so obvious that he was paying extra special care to help me with the things I am not good at. Early in our marriage he may have gotten frustrated with me or exasperated (and I wouldn't blame him).

I am so thankful for the time we have been able to spend together and am looking forward to the future and how with time we will continue to grow and change together.

I hope to post vacation pictures by the end of the weekend...

Long time, no write...

2007-07-20T12:56:00.000-05:00

I have been completely de-internetized! (Is that a word?) I haven't had access to the Internet since July 11 and won't really be able to write much until after the 26th, but I wanted to give a quick update on ME and MY FAMILY.

We have been away. So wonderfully away. It took a few days to remember how to relax and not be in that "I have to do it all" mode. We are in a beautiful condo basically on the sand with big windows opening to the expansive and gorgeous oceean. Within a few steps, we have seen many beautiful sunsets, dolphins, groups of manatee, a snake, many types of birds and fish...even a few cockroaches! Yikes! On a fifteen minute walk with Megan yesterday, I counted 53 little lizards.

We have done hours of swimming and resting and eating and exercising. Reading, talking, and listening. Cuddling and watching TV. Not a lot of DOING as far as going places and running around. It has been wonderful and healthy. I love staying longer than a week - it gives me enough time to learn to unwind and then to enjoy being unwound before getting all wound up again. (Does that make sense?)

My ever romantic and full of surprises husband wrote me a lovely song and had it arranged and recorded. I may provide a link to it when I get home - or you could email me if you want to listen. It is really wonderful. Just like him:). We just celebrated our tenth anniversary yesterday.

My brother got to hang out with us for a few days - has been great...except for the day I picked him up at the airport and drove him straight to the Urgent Care and then for cat scans, etc. It was a bit scary.

I can elaborate on these things when I have more time - and I can add pictures.

I have also decided to say NO on all working outside of the home for now - except for one specific small job for the school. Pray that I can stick to it. I have to say no to everything otherwise I can't set boudaries. My kids are TOO important for me to be so preoccupied with things that don't involve them. I want to give them as close to 100% as I can while they are home with me and young enough to be influenced. More on that later too:).

Much love -
AM

The Fog

2007-07-10T13:12:00.001-05:00

...for me, it tends to follow "the bomb." After I had written about my grandmother the other day, I was surprised to see that my friend MommyZabs had just written about what she called "the bomb." It was exactly what I needed to hear. She starts off by writing:

We have all experienced them. Those moments where the bomb goes off in your life. When you are standing there living out normalcy and suddenly an explosion goes off that you never expected and your world is rocked.

And then goes on to talk about what do we do at that moment. I was sitting in Church later that morning thinking about "the fog." For me, that is what I feel like when I am in the midst of some type of crisis or tragedy. It is that point where everything seems really fuzzy. It is a confusion and deep sadness that clouds my thinking. In those moments I feel uncertainty and a heaviness. It reminds of of looking through the eyepiece on my camera and trying to focus the lens...but for some reason I can't seem to get it to focus on a single focal point. I can't see clearly what I am looking at...but I am trying so hard. There must be some type of obstacle or distraction that is making it hard to focus. Sometimes I need to change my vantage point.

In these hard situations if I lose sight of Christ and eternity, I am doomed. He is hope. He is my target, my focal point. He provides clarity and He lightens my load. He allows me to move forward and carry on everyday tasks that can seem overwhelming and impossible when I am in the fog.

When a pilot is flying in a storm, they often can't see anything from the cockpit. If they didn't trust their equipment and their air traffic controllers, they would panic and be in complete confusion. We also need to trust God when we are in our storms. He can already see what lies ahead and he promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us...nor will He give us more than we can handle.

So focus on this:

John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that whosoever believes in Him should have everlasting life."

John 16: 33 says "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Hebrews 12:1-3 says "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

These songs have encouraging lyrics as well...and there are countless others.

Praise You in the Storm by Casting Crowns
Bring the Rain by MercyMe
I Will Lift by Eyes by Bebo Norman
I Still Believe in Your Faithfulness by Jeremy Camp

If you have a verse or song you would like to share, let me know.

Thanks for reading. I will pray for you along with myself that we can keep your focus on Him.

The Blues

2007-07-07T21:38:00.000-05:00

UPDATE MONDAY 9:00 PM: Grandma's surgery was about 2.5 hours and she made it through. The doctor's said things went well and she was a trooper. She is in major pain and on lots of drugs that are causing some unusual behavior - so now we need to pray for recovery and pain management...Thanks for your prayers!

I am sad tonight. Just sad. I am truly not a depressing person to be around - but I know I blog about sad things some times. I just can't handle when people are hurting. It is too much for me. It hurts when it is someone I don't know - and more when someone I am close to - and so much more when it is someone I love.

My grandma who is 86 fell yesterday and got a pretty bad hip fracture. On Monday she will be having a hip pinning surgery. It is no secret that hip fractures in elderly people are not positive events. In fact, most studies show that 25-30% of all elderly people who suffer one die within the year. Previous to the fall, my grandmother's mobility wasn't very good. She suffers from bad arthritis - has had knee replacements, has a fractured vertebrae, etc. It has been really hard to see her in so much pain, constantly. She tries to remain positive but the pain is so deep at times, she just cries. She also has some heart issues and is on blood thinners and none are good for surgery. Not to mention the fact that surgery has been a concern to her since her mother died in a routine surgery at a young age.

Grandma and Grandpa don't live around here - about 10 hours away, and due to some other pressing family issues, we can't go visit at this time. My mother is traveling the trip by herself for the third time in six weeks and is already exhausted. She has four siblings and all but one of them are in Ireland on a family trip. It is surreal for me - just thinking that this could be her time. God could be calling her home. When I talk to her tomorrow, do I act like she is just having a routine operation and things are good - I don't want to be emotional, and it would be hard not to be. Death is inevitable for all of us - once. For some it is freeing - freedom from the pain of this life and the pains in our earthly bodies. But is is separation and that is hard. My grandmother is so kind and unselfish - she always has been. I wish I could take away her pain and make her feel better. She has told me that she is ready when the Lord is ready to take her. Thankfully, she is God's and she loves Him. Her husband does not - and I will continue to pray for him. They just moved from the house they have lived in for over 40 years 2 weeks ago. They have moved to a retirement home. That is already a lot to lose...Getting older is really not easy for me to grasp. That sounds silly I know. I am fully aware that what matters in life is eternal not the temporal. If you have a quick second - will you pray for peace for her and us? Will you pray that God will lead my grandfather to Him? Thank you.

AM

Parenting

2007-07-02T23:54:00.000-05:00

I was in a Bible Study this year that was very different than any other I have participated in. There were a lot of rules. So many rules that I had declined the invitation for a few years prior to this one. I don't not like rules - I am a first child. I kind of like them to be honest. However, in this type of a setting, I am not extremely comfortable with restrictions on how to learn about and worship God and how to share that with others around me. Consequently, throughout the year I was able to see the purpose behind many of the rules. Over all, they allowed our learning to be maximized and the ultimate goal to be accomplished - glorifying God, learning from His Word, spending time with Him, fellowship, etc. I still don't like all of the rules - but I can at least appreciate them and see the difference they make.

When I was a teacher, I started off understanding the importance of rules, routines and discipline, but I didn't know exactly how to teach and enforce them. Teaching became much more enjoyable and less stressful once I improved in that area. And no - the kids didn't start not-liking me...Rather I think we gained a mutual respect for each other.

So, on to parenting. My husband and I are not really push-overs and we believe in discipline. Willful disobedience and disrespect are two non-tolerable offenses. BUT there are many areas of parenting that I think we have let slide. It is hard to find a balance between having fun and enjoying each other and using good manners or being civilized. For example, when we go shopping, I like for the kids to be able to look at things and try them out. That is what I do when I want to think about getting something new. Some parents won't let their kids touch anything. Now (thanks to me), shopping at times can be unbearable. The kids don't stay by my side, they were climbing in the tubs and toilets at Lowes, etc. I wonder - should I have serious rules and tell them they have to stand right by my side and not touch anything (that would be safer). But what about when we are trying to kill time and I want them to look at the toys. What about when we eat dinner at home or in a restaurant? Should they be forced to sit perfectly still (if that is possible - with some kids I don't think it is at a young age)? Should they use proper manners and not be silly or not play with their food? If so, can you ever break the rule? My Bible Study's rules only work because they are enforced 100% of the time. IT is hard to have a conversation at the dinner table with a 3 year old and 5 year old. They want to dip their food in their drinks and make funny noises, etc.

I have often thought we should take one day a week to practice scenarios. We all have better chances of succeeding in a task if we know the expectations first and have been able to practice. Let's take shopping for example - we practice at home first - then go to the store. They have to stay by my side and can't touch anything. They have to obey everything I say. I could score them as we went along (a star every time they follow the rules) - That sounds a little bit like dog training:) actually...I honestly don't know the answer. I want to have fun and let them be kids - but I want them to be respectful and responsible to.

Any ideas?

Been away for awhile...

2007-06-29T23:00:00.000-05:00

Visiting family and focusing on other things. That is how I am with just about everything in life. I get obsessed with certain tasks and can't do anything else until I finish. So, I have been visiting with family, trying to catch up on scrapbooking, and cleaning the house. June is probably the craziest month of the year for us. People are continually asking "How is your summer? Aren't you so glad it is summer?" Honestly, summer is good - but June is not. With a basketball coach, Athletic Director, painting and mulching husband, June is super crazy. BUT July is good - really good. 2 more days until then!!! and my baby's third birthday!

So as I walked up the stairs I was wondering "Isn't it so annoying when you get the carpet's cleaned and they look so new for 2 days and then all of a sudden the phantom stains appear again. What is the deal with that?"

I have lots to write about from the last week or more. First I want to share 2 pictures from this week. I grew up with one brother and Kevin's two brothers - no sisters. I now have one sister-in-law and here is another current friend who may be a sister someday:) (hope so Terra:)) Can you believe we all have long brown hair, are athletes, and actually wore the same tank tops unplanned?

Here is the whole gang...

We hardly ever - like maybe once a year - can get together. It always makes me so sad because we really enjoy being together and my girls love their aunt and uncles!!! We had a great time together - gained an interesting story to tell when some power-hungry law enforcement officials tried to create trouble late at night (better not talk about that - we did absolutely nothing wrong, just made a wrong turn)...but had fun anyway!

I have lots more to write and share later. Thanks for reading!

Is there

2007-06-18T22:22:00.000-05:00

something you always wanted to be (career-wise) but didn't? I would have loved to be a doctor....but Kevin and I were destined to be married fairly young and I didn't want to have to wait to start a family until I was in my thirties after all of that schooling. I actually majored in pre Physical Therapy first, but didn't get accepted after 200 hours of volunteer work. I changed my major to education and changed schools two times. God is good. God has a plan. Teaching was definitely where he wanted me. I got a teaching job where I student-taught...wasn't where I wanted to be originally - but God knew. I made life-long friends. I learned from amazing mentor teachers and mentor people. People who didn't have it easy - but "made lemonade from lemons." I prayed with parents, cried with parents, celebrated with parents. I enjoyed amazing times like the first time a ten year old had ever spoken outloud in school - in my class. I learned from my principal who did what was right - even when it wasn't easy...because it was right. If I could hand pick people (other than Kevin and I) to teach and mentor my children, I couldn't have picked better people. See, in reality - the technology, the buildings, the playgrounds, the extra stuff - it doesn't matter the most...It is the people and what is inside of them that matters. Working there was one of the many blessings I had.

As far as things I would like to do that I haven't - career-wise - I am still very interested in the medical field. I am so intrigued by the human body. I love information and processing information and sharing it with others. (Hence the time I spend researching and learning on the Internet) Maybe I could combine my love for medicine with educating...hmmmm - some type of medical counselor relaying info to patients. Who knows? Life on earth isn't that long, and I need to remember that the most important "jobs" I have now are raising our two beautiful children and ministering to my husband and others. And "in whatever I do, I need to work wholeheartedly working for the Lord not men."

Okay - and let me give a shout out (did I just say that? I sound like a teenager!) to my good friend Sara in Canada!!! Sara - That is a very interesting thought. I really like this spontaneous discussion we are having! :)

What is your identity?

2007-06-12T07:08:00.000-05:00

As a SAHM or sometimes a WAHM (Work at home mom) - I sometimes feel like I can't figure out what my identity is. When I was working, I was a teacher. Now - I do so many different things and I don't think I am really good at any of them all at the same time...just a little scattered here and there. I feel like I don't really know who I am...just that I have so many little pieces of me all over that there is no one coherent whole. It is hard for to to focus and hard for me to define really who I am.

So I am writing out some prayer requests in a prayer journal today and it hits me! I may be a teacher, a wife, a mom, a cook, a cleaner, a designer, a photographer, blah blah blah - the list could go on and on...but what I am - the core of WHO I AM is a child of God. Wow! sounds so simple. but it is freeing. I am a Daughter of the King. How easy it is to get caught up in the to-do lists of life and feel bound to them and frustrated by them...BUT everything I do is secondary to loving Him and serving Him and should flow out of me by His strength and His matchless grace and abounding love.

Mommy, Do you have a baby in your tummy?

2007-06-10T22:10:00.001-05:00

Wouldn't it be great if I was announcing a pregnancy...But no, this is what my Megan said to me in the pool today:). Cute- eh?! Better do some more crunches!

We had a wonderful weekend...a rare weekend when daddy wasn't working AT ALL! Yippee! Kevin's birthday was Friday and the girls wanted to surprise him by taking him fishing and bringing along a picnic. I am not much of a fisherwoman and they have never been - so we really surprised him by having him take us fishing! Both girls caught a little blue gill (well we helped and they reeled them in).

Definitely one of the greatest quotes was from "the Marvelous Megan" as daddy calls her. Every time she pulled up her fishing pole, she would say "Oh man, I caught another worm!" The first few times she was excited. Then matter-of-factly she said "I sure am catching an awfully lot of worms!"

I will post more weekend pics tomorrow or Tuesday...

Oh - and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wonderful mother-in-law! and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my in-laws - 35 years...WOW!!! Way to go!

The things they say and do...

2007-06-06T23:39:00.000-05:00

I wanted to post some silly things the girls have said or done in the past few weeks...

We went to the Zoo on Tuesday. I think every school still in business was there! It was like Disney World. While there, we saw a family of 4 young girls with Hooter T-shirts (yikes). Even more interesting was this little diaper situation we had. Megan was wearing a pull up and was pretty soaked. She was wearing a long dress and we were sitting at a picnic table finishing up lunch. I slipped off her old diaper and slipped on her new one. Nonchalantly. Nobody would notice right? So I bend over to pick up her old diaper and notice a brown smudge. My heart starts to beat a little faster. "Megan did you go poo-poo?" I ask. She doesn't really answer. She doesn't really have to. I look down and see human poo-poo in the mulch under the picnic table. In the crowded Zoo. In the eating area. Oh my! I frantically look to see if anyone noticed. I think I am safe - so I clean up all of the mulch and poo and leave the area. Cool. Things are okay I think as I look over my shoulder...

The day before, we went to the park. Megan pointed to a man getting out of the car next to us. This particular gentleman was older and had long gray hair. She yells, "Mommy look! That boy has long hair! Boys don't wear long hair! Isn't that funny. He is so silly!" When I didn't reply, she repeated it even louder and moved closer to the man - who still didn't even glance at us!

When Kat was 2, I remember her pointing to a lady in Chipotle and saying "Mommy - does that lady have a baby in her tummy?" when the lady obviously didn't.

A recent conversation between the girls in the car:
Kat: Mommy I am going to marry Ethan (her friend) when I grow up. And we are going to live in a house and have baby girls. And you and daddy are going to be the grandma and grandpa and babysit for us when we go out on a date."
Megan: When I grow up, I am going to marry daddy.
Kat: You can't marry daddy, mommy already married daddy.
Megan: (obviously heartbroken) When I grow up, I am going to marry my friend Ella.
Kat: You can't marry Ella. She is a girl. You have to marry a boy.
Megan starts to cry at which point I tell her that God has a plan and someday someone very special will fall in love with her and marry her. (I pray:)

Lists?

2007-06-05T00:38:00.000-05:00

Do you like to make lists? to-do lists? grocery lists? don't forget to...lists? My husband has so many lists that it takes him like 15 minutes to combine them and review them each day.

So I am making a list. I am frustrated with myself. It is a mommy thing...and a general be-a-better-person thing. I have been forgoing good things...doing less good things...for not so good reasons. For example, my house has been cleaner BUT my kids have watched more TV and have gotten more disrespectful BECAUSE I have been lazy on unfocused.

SO I have been thinking. Thinking about things that are GOOD, HEALTHY, EDIFYING, and I have been thinking about things that are not so good, healthy, or edifying. I made lists. The things on the good list are things I need to do more and pick from when we go through our day. The not-so-good and sometimes-bad are things I need to avoid. Yes this is for me personally but also things I want to work on with the kids.

Here are some things from my GOOD and HEALTHY list (this is my personal opinion - you don't have to agree with me):

God's Word, prayer, worship
exercise, rhythm, throwing, catching, kicking, running, skipping, stretching
art projects
reading and books
imagination, pretending
role playing - and role playing to practice how to act in certain situations (like grocery shopping or the doctor's office)
encouraging, uplifting, and serving others
cleanliness and cleaning up after yourself
being helpful
sleeping
being consistent
veggies, fruit, protein, water
PLAYING
love, patience, kindness
optimism
understanding
learning good habits and reinforcing good habits
hugging
listening
educational stuff that no one knows is educational
taking walks outside, riding bikes, watering flowers, watching birds
cooking together
writing letters
not getting everything I want, being content
being still, sitting in awe of God

Praying that you too can find something to do today that is good and wholesome and healthy!:)

just talking

2007-06-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

My poor baby (really she is almost three) got stung by a bee in her eye socket and on her temple - not her eyeball but right above it and next to it! She started to scream and grab her face. I thought she just got dirt in her eye and tried to get my husband to look at it - the bee was actually stuck to her and he had to rip it off. She was a trooper and only cried a few minutes. It is still swollen and it was 5 hours ago!

Katherine got stung on her hand when she was three and cried for at least 2 hours. I would post a picture, but I am cameraless today! Other than that, it was a good weekend. Graduation parties, Church, softball game, a little cleaning...and then a little messing up:) Can't complain.

Survey

2007-06-02T09:53:00.000-05:00

For those of you who like to share your opinions...My author friend Marla needs people to fill out some surveys. She has written two books so far - I think I wrote about them before (one on marriage and one on sex). Anyway, she is working on a parenting book now and the first 100 people to fill one out will get a free book as well. They take a little bit of time - but I just wanted to give a heads up if you would like to make your opinion known:). Have a great day!

This is very cool

2007-06-02T09:49:00.000-05:00

Okay - do you remember my t-shirt post a little while back? My husband has TONS of them and I can't handle it and don't know what to do about it...Well check this picture out! I can't take any credit - A friend of mine sent me this and basically her mother made quilts for the men in their family out of their t-shirts! She said they are warm and the guys love them. What a great idea Beth - Thanks! (And that is her adorable son Will:) I plan on trying this over the summer! (It looks like she used around 25 t-shirts! - yippee!)

Yummy!

2007-06-01T13:07:00.002-05:00

I have never been a coffee person. My parents didn't drink coffee and my husband doesn't either - so I never started. I don't like the flavor of plain coffee - so why try to make myself like something I could get addicted to. Here is the problem - I LIKE these...a lot. I didn't buy one for myself, but a friend brought one to me. I really enjoyed it - it was refreshing. However, I noticed that evening that my eyes were glued open and I couldn't sleep until after 2am...unusual for me. At this point, I didn't make a connection. All I know is that every time I pass Tim Horton's, I want one. The small has 250 calories which isn't too horrible in my opinion - but I still don't want to get addicted to anything so I resolve that I can have one every two weeks. Lo and behold, my friend brings me another one next week - and it is still so tasty. I drink it in the afternoon and can't sleep again. So I realize it must have some caffeine. I try to order one decaf - and the Tim Horton's lady says "Oh no - those have at least twice as much caffeine as a regular coffee, and we don't have them in decaf!" So, I think I will stay away from those on most occasions - but they are really good. I wonder if everyone is that affected by caffeine? I researched and read some articles on caffeine - quite interesting!

The end of preschool

2007-05-31T16:17:00.000-05:00

“One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in the bank, nor what my clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child.”

I used to have this quote at the top of my resume when I was interviewing for a teacher job. It means so much more to me now that I am a parent – and I am placing my child in the hands of someone else.

My daughter's last day of preschool was today. I was actually sad to be finished - her teacher became a part of our family. Miss Katie exemplified and glorified Jesus in her teachings and interactions with the children. She genuinely loved them as her own. We weren't sure about the value of preschool and sending her this year - but are sooo glad we did. We are truly grateful for this experience. Katherine has really grown and matured.

Pray for strength

2007-05-29T12:47:00.000-05:00

First let me apologize for my last post - my kids are really trying to stay up late and my husband had been gone for 4 nights and I was just tired....

I have it good. If tired is the worst it gets - I know I have it really good. In fact, I feel guilty sometimes that it is good. We have healthy children and haven't had any serious issues. I know that can change at any moment - but as I have said before, now is good. There is a family we know who is struggling through a rough time. I hesitate to say struggle, because considering the situation, they are doing pretty well. This husband and wife have a five year old daughter, 22 month old son, and a nine week old daughter. They had another daughter too who died when she was 21 months. The doctors thought she had an ear infection and in a matter of hours she was paralyzed and unable to breath again on her own. She died shortly after. The condition she had was one that less than a handful of young people have ever had (like 1 in a million odds). Their nine week old baby was born with a disease called Treacher Collins Syndrome. This is something that can't really be seen on an ultrasound, so they were expecting their little baby girl to be completely healthy. It is something 1 in 10,000 people are born with. Their baby is at home now with a GI tube, traech (is that how you spell it?) and hearing aid. She is doing well considering. They need a nurse 16 hours per day but are having trouble finding one even from 8-4 during the week. I can't imagine having to go through one horrific situation like that - nonetheless two. They are doing their best to focus on getting through each and every day - looking past that is even more tiring. Thankfully, their family and Church is very supportive and they have an unwavering faith that God is control and see them through.

It is such a helpless feeling to watch someone you care for have suffer. We think that there has to be something we can do to help. Anyway, if you think of them today, please pray. The mom and dad's names are Alissa and Brad.

Repeat whiners (whom I love very much)

2007-05-27T21:04:00.001-05:00

If it is 10 PM and your child repeatedly cries and asks for things - anything he or she can think of to stay awake and keep you from enjoying alone time - Is it mean to say
"Are you dying? ... If not, than stop crying!"
Is that unfair or unreasonable? Because those are the words that want to jump out of my mouth at this moment.

The message was good today...

2007-05-27T19:23:00.000-05:00

Not that it isn't every week, but some weeks the message at Church just hits a little deeper. I was planning on visiting a Church we don't normally attend this morning (I won't delve into any reasons right now)...but we got up late and couldn't make it. I was disappointed, and instead went to the Church where we are members. What a wonderful service it was. More importantly, God spoke through the pastor. The pastor was talking about the military since it IS Memorial Day and discussing the training soldiers receive and then how they are 130% identified with the army/marines,etc...once they join. They do their job with conviction and everyone knows who they stand for and what they do. As followers of Jesus, we need to have that same conviction and people need to know who we follow - who we identify with - 130%. He continued to discuss how we have really watered down Christianity in the US. We try to sell God and "religion" as a feel good thing = lots of wonderful benefits...but somewhere along the line, we have lost the cross. There is suffering in following Christ. Many people identify with "religion" but when you say you follow Jesus - they don't always have positive things to say about that. I, unfortunately, wasn't taking notes, so I can't relay what he said as eloquently or make the same points, but it was good. It spoke to my heart. I know daily I need to "take up my cross and follow Christ" - moment by moment,...with each breath.

Recently I read a really interesting Blog post from a pastor about a service he went to in Mexico. He was contrasting the service there (their enthusaiasm and genuine desire to worship) with our Church services here. If you get a chance, check it out here - Scroll down to April 22, 2007. Under the Cedars.

It was a good day.

2007-05-26T22:14:00.000-05:00

Today was. I traded in my seat in front of the computer for a day outside. I am trying to surprise my husband by fixing up the yard...not my favorite thing to do - the yard I mean. So, I pulled out (with the help of mom) five dead bushes and chopped them up...then moved two bushes. She planted some Hostas and other various plants. I edged and mulched and trimmed more tonight. There is still a lot left to do - hopefully i can be content with imperfection, because I can't make this as perfect as I would like. My legs and rear end are really bothering me - and I think I may have pulled something in my right quad. I am also running out of money. Anyhow - it feels good to do something for someone else - and I am broadening my horizons.

The girls and I watched a Barbie movie(I never had a Barbie when I was little by the way) and ate pizza and subs tonight. We laid in our sleeping bags on the floor and made ice cream sundies with LOTS of sprinkles. (Although my favorite sprinkles treat has to be the toast Megan made me with sprinkles on it for Mother's day:) We read books and tried to have a sleepover in the living room. Thankfully they changed their minds and wanted their beds around 11 - my body wanted my bed too.

I am thankful for fun days like these - fun moments - good memories. Thanks Lord. I have lots to be grateful for.

too many t-shirts

2007-05-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

my husband has too many t-shirts. he has a dresser full of old t-shirts in the basement for painting and mulching in. he also has a drawer full upstairs and a large pile of overflowing t-shirts next to the dresser upstairs and a basket full in the closet. none are new and probably less than 10 are purchased. they are all old and from camps he has been too. do you think i should secretly throw them out little by little? do your husband's hoard anything? {sorry if typing in lowercases is irritating - it is easier at the moment}

Breast Cancer, Mammograms, etc.

2007-05-23T12:44:00.000-05:00

[Warning - long post! - sorry but this is important for me to share important for me]
Those of you who know me are probably aware that nine years ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was 48. Around twenty years ago, my dad's sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 39. In between the two of them, both of my grandmothers and my grandmother's sister were also diagnosed with the disease. Thankful, none of them have died from this cancer. Needless to say, this disease is something I am very familiar with and need to become even more familiar with.

A little background about Breast Cancer...
It is one of the most common forms of cancer in woman in the US. One in 7 or 8 women will develop it sometime in their life. Like many other diseases, it is affected by both controllable and non-controllable risk factors. Non-controllable risk factors would include things like aging, race, or heredity. Controllable risk factors would be things such as diet, exercise, alcohol, etc. Many things are still questionable like soy, birth control pills - some studies show these are beneficial and some show they are harmful.

I am considered high risk for this disease (because of heredity) and was referred to a cancer center nearby that has a Breast Cancer Prevention Clinic once each month. My understanding was that I was going to meet with an oncologist who would give me an examination and possibly develop some time of a protective plan from here on out. When I got there, I first met with an oncologist and a nurse practitioner. I was joking around somewhat...feeling awfully silly for seeing a doctor about something I didn't have. When they didn't laugh at my jokes, I tried to take things a little bit more seriously. I found out that one Monday each month, these doctor's commit their time only to high risk women. The other days of the month are spent treating women who already have the disease. So all of the other women there where in a situation similar to mine. After my initial exam and health history with them, I was sent to meet with a genetic counselor for about 40 minutes. It was SO interesting and informative. From there I was taken to have a baseline mammogram (didn't see that one coming) and then another conference with the oncologist and nurse practitioner.

I WAS SO IMPRESSED.
Little old me - with no problems at this point...but they cared and wanted to help.

I have considered seeing a genetic counselor in the past but wasn't really sure it would be beneficial. I mean - it seemed to me that the only prevention was a preventative double mastectomy. I also wondered if playing around with genes was God's business and not mine? I was shocked by all of the information she gave me. There are two genes that have been associated with breast cancer and with ovarian cancer - BRCA1 and BRCA2. When one or both of them has a type of gene mutation, there is a significant rise in breast cancer cases. Nearly 35-85 percent of woman who have a gene mutation in one of these genes will get breast cancer in their lifetime. Between 16-60 percent of them will get ovarian cancer. I knew this was high regarding the breast - but I did not know about the connection with ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer is much more difficult to find and diagnose and therefore - can be quite deadly. In cases such as mine, there is enough of a possibly that I have the gene that they recommended genetic counseling - for my aunt, my mom, and if necessary - myself. It costs almost $3200. {If you are over 65 it is free through Medicare.}

For woman who have one of these mutated genes, they like you to have your fallopian tubes and ovaries out before you are 40. Yikes! Who wants to get put through menopause that early? Well- they give you 25% of your hormones through HRT (hormone replacement therapy) which still leaves you with 75% less than what you were getting. IT doesn't put you through menopause and reduces your risk of getting ovarian cancer in particular by 65%! I guess that is better than the complete hysterectomy and double mastectomy a friends of mine just had! This is just a tiny little bit of what she told me - but it was enough to really make me think. There was lots of info about male breast cancer too - if anyone wants to know. They are really so proactive. It is amazing.

A concern many woman in my situation have is the problem of genetic discrimination. In the past - and still in some states, insurance companies could and would drop clients if they were found to have this gene. It IS a preexisting condition, after all! So, doctor's would advise their clients to pay everything out of pocket and not write any information about the gene in their charts. Thankfully, most of that has changed or is changing. The Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act is currently running through the house and Bush is expected to sign it. At this point, life insurance and disability companies can still drop clients though. [My friend Elizabeth is so good at keeping up with political issues - I am interested but I realized how much more interesting it becomes when it directly affects me!] As far as the genetic testing, there are lots of factors to consider before doing it, and I haven't prayed about it enough to know what is right for our family.

As far as the mammogram - you do wear these robes and the technician squeezes and molds and squishes your chest. They actually stuck bee bees on the end of them - (that is a nice visual huh?) But - compared to childbirth, or any other injury, it didn't really hurt. Maybe just a little uncomfortable for a brief time. The lady said - "wow look at all that muscle!" So - I could take that as, wow, you are strong....or wow, you don't have much fat in the only place in your body where you are supposed to:).

My mom hasn't had any recurrences. Praise the Lord! She was recently diagnosed with a mild case of lymphedema - but that is a side effect of having a double mastectomy and radiation and chemo.

Anyway, if you know of anyone who would benefit from this info, feel free to pass it on. Thanks for listening and letting me tell this story.

spinning....

2007-05-22T08:31:00.001-05:00

My head is spinning! I had a VERY informative day yesterday - spent several hours at a comprehensive cancer clinic nearby specifically as part of a high risk breast cancer prevention program. I can't wait to write all about it - I think it will help me process the info - but I will do that later this evening or early tomorrow morning - when I have more time.

Also - we now have two girls wearing gloves - in hopes that my five year old will stop sucking her thumb by the end of the summer and the 2 year old will stop pulling out her hair. Before you think I am cruel, we only wear them in the car, in bed, or watching TV.

Right now I just want to say how incredibly thankful I am for my husband! I totally don't tell him enough - but I wouldn't be half the person I am today without him! Do you ever have those moments when your mind starts wandering and you worry about your loved ones and then start to think "How could I possibly survive if anything ever happened and..." Well I was having one of those moments this weekend. Kevin and I went out to a nice (free) dinner at a wonderful restaurant and saw a sweet movie called Music and Lyrics. For some reason, I started that ridiculous worrying and just realized - you know what - NOW is good. I am thankful for NOW - soooo thankful. Thankful for the moment. and Thankful for each extra moment I get to spend with him - it is a gift and a treasure and I want to make the most of it. So - honey I LOVE YOU!!!

the weekend..

2007-05-21T13:39:00.000-05:00

Here are two pictures from the weekend...can you tell what they are? One is my daughter sleeping with a mitten on her hand. We are trying this again to get her to stop pulling out and eating her hair. For a two year old, she is pretty compliant about wearing it! I think habits are so hard to beat the older you get, so we are comitting ourselves to doing all that we can to help her stop now - but it sure would be easier to let it go!

The second photo is my leg. Odd for me to post that - it is the spike marks left over from a collision during my soccer game on Sunday. I was asked to play on a coed adult team and it was SOOOO fun - spikes, soreness and all! We didn't have enough girls so we had no subs, had to play short two players and didn't get a sub for 80 minutes! It was great exercise and great fun - even in the driving rain. Of course, I was a little nervous at first - but that went away quickly. I have always loved to compete - in any sports. I played volleyball, tennis, basketball, track and softball in high school and loved all of them. The older you get it is harder to find places to play. Anyway, I could hardly lift my legs last night I was so sore- but it was a good soreness. I miss that.

Anyway- what is something you have always enjoyed doing but forego now that you are in a career, or a mom or dad, or just don't make time to do? (or for some of us - we are injured and can't particiapte the way we did when we were younger.) There is some type of energy or feeling that is wonderful when you are doing something you really love to do.

Journal Jar Photos

2007-05-13T14:50:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos I promised (from the post 2 previous to this one). I chose not to embellish the journals and keep things as simple and inexpensive as possible. Journals and plain jars are from Target.

I am so thankful for them this Mother's Day!

2007-05-13T00:37:00.000-05:00

Journal Jars

2007-05-13T00:12:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of them? That is what I am working on at 1:13 am on Mother's Day! :) Don't feel too bad for me - I did get to watch Grey's Anatomy on the computer while I was cutting. Anyway, I have been wanting to make these for the people in my family for some time now...I will post a photo another day when I am more finished. It is a jar or container of some type, filled with many questions...questions about the past, like:

What were some of your favorite places to go as a family when you were a child?
Describe a typical childhood Christmas morning.
Tell about your first vehicle - don't forget the price.
What food did you hate when you were a child? Do you still not like it as an adult?

Or the present:

Write a want ad for your spouse.
Describe the street you live on.
What is a typical day or week look like for you at this time?
How much does a dozen eggs cost? a loaf of bread? a gallon of milk?

Or the future:

When and how would you like to retire?
If you were able to donate time or money to help people, what would you choose to do?

I have well over a hundred that I have typed up and cut for all of the woman in my family. (I would be glad to email you a copy if you would like.) Anyway, you can decorate the jar however you like...then you can give a journal and a special pen. The recipient is to pick one paper out of the journal daily or weekly or whenever - then write about that topic in his/her journal. The purpose is to be reflective and more importantly, to have a lot of history and thoughts written down to pass on to others who love you...especially as a legacy. Yes - it is a little selfish to ask someone to do work, but in my opinion one of the greatest gifts is to have pieces of those I love...just like I love to share pieces of me.

photo of a journal jar
description of how to make one

Okay - off to star at my beautiful sleeping babies...to pray fervently for them...and to praise God for allowing me to have them for a time on earth:) Happy Mother's Day to all of you mommies out there!

blogging

2007-05-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

EDITED: I am not saying it is bad if your priorities include blogging everyday. I am just not organized enough to do that right now . BUT if you are - kuddos to you!!!:)

So I have pretty much realized that I will be about a once a week blogger...Believe me, it is not that I don't have plenty of thoughts rumbling around in my head that need to get out. I know for some people blogging is one of those daily things in their routines, but I just can't fit it in all the time. See..there is the husband and kids, work deadlines, cooking and cleaning, exercising and reading the Bible, taking a shower...you know - so it tends to get pushed down to the bottom of the list...and I am okay with that. Oh - and the laundry which last week was piled up in the basement to almost the bottom of the shoot in the ceiling...seriously!

Had a great week last week - celebrated a birthday (a few times) for my FIVE year old - so much fun! Working on some graduation invitations, bridal shower invitations, wedding reception invitations, sports photos and family photos...riding bikes!! - Katherine is learning how without training wheels..having family visiting...

Okay - here is the question floating around in my head for a while now. Does it mean you are getting old when everyone else looks so young???? or when 40 doesn't sound so old anytmore? When Kevin first started working in the high school 7 years ago, I remember how young all of the students looked. After my second daughter was born, I remember thinking how young all the new moms were looking. Now, I was sitting at a middle school soccer game taking pictures and thought - "Man, these moms look so young!!" So, are the moms getting younger or am I getting older???

I have some other posts I have been working on - hope to upload them in the next day or so...Have a great day!

FREE

2007-04-29T22:23:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt free? liberated? I mean like - have you ever done something that allowed you to just BE - no strings attached? I feel like that sometimes if I am creating - just for myself, without any restrictions or guidelines...I feel free in my relationship with Christ - he loves me and allows me to be FREE from death and FREE from a lot of things that entangle me...and my husband allows me to feel FREE because he loves me unconditionally...but I have found something totally unlikely for me that allows me to feel so FREE! Zumba - or a funky version of it! Here is what it is: Zumba is (taken straight from their website)

ZUMBA is a fusion of Latin and International music - dance themes creating a dynamic, exciting, effective fitness system! The routines feature aerobic/fitness interval training with a combination of fast and slow rhythms that tone and sculpt the body. Zumba utilizes the principals of fitness interval training and resistance training to maximize caloric output, fat burning and total body toning. It is a mixture of body sculpting movements with easy to follow dance steps. (not always so easy in my opinion - depending on who is teaching)

There are lots of versions of it - I have been taking a class very similar to this at the gym where I work out and I can't get enough! The instructor is SO great - not easy or slow though! Here is the funny part - growing up I NEVER went to any dancing type events. I never danced at weddings - nothing! I am not confident in that at all. So, the first time I go to this class - I am in shock. She has us shaking things I have never shaked in my life! The music is great - so loud and I am cracking up...looking at other people, waiting for them to laugh at me. Are they really going to do that? Here is the great part - nobody cared! There are like 60 people crammed in this room. People of all different races, ages, sizes, and colors. Some people are really good dancers and really fit, some (like me) try their best and can keep up but look a little odd, others are totally doing there own thing and have no clue - maybe they think they are following along...EVERYONE has sooo much fun! It doesn't matter what you look like or if you can move like the instructor. I was standing next to a very large older woman in the FRONT row last time and no one cared that we both looked quite funny! You just have fun and focus on yourself and it is like a big exercise party. It is so good for the woman I see in there. It is empowering! Okay - the best part is that you really burn between 700-900 calories IF you work hard! (You can tell that from wearing a heart monitor) I feel so invigorated when it is over - and ready to conquer the world! Kevin loves it because I clean like a crazy woman when I come home. How about a change from your exercising norm - try something funky and let lose!

Making Cookies

2007-04-29T22:03:00.000-05:00

I know I am not a consistent blogger - not all all. I actually keep a running list of things I would like to blog about, but don't have time. I wanted to post some photos from this week. I don't do a lot of my own kids - or anything I think is really nice. Why? Safety and I know a LOT of people whose photos havee been stolen - two people just last week. IT is incredible.

Well, these photos are from us baking last week. For my daughter's birthday at school, we made these really cute princess sugar cookies - crowns, purses, slippers, and dresses. In the process, the girls had a flour fight. At first I said no...but then it looked so fun. Not so much fun to clean out of the hard wood floor cracks though! AND - does anyone know how to get thick flour out of hair? AFter 3 baths, we still have a LOT left!

Fashion Panic

2007-04-29T21:54:00.000-05:00

This describes me yesterday! Some people just have no idea what I am talking about - fashion is second nature to them. I feel confident about the gym, working out, artsy things, teaching - but not shopping. It is not enjoyable - it is ulcer causing and I try to avoid it unless necessary.

My husband and I were chaperoning a high school prom-type event. I thought I would run out and pick something from this decade to wear. I don't buy many clothes - especially for myself. In fact, I don't enjoy shopping at all. I have no money and no style - so shopping is extremely stressful. Anyhow, I walk into several stores and my mind is SPINNING! I can't even tell if some of the things I am seeing are tops or skirts...honestly - they are either strapless long shirts, or skirts? Someone please help! Who can I call? I tried my sister-in-law...she didn't answer. She is thrifty and stylish. I call another friend who will be at the prom too - she gives me some ideas, but I can't figure out what exactly she is describing, plus everything is like a size 4 - not what I am. So, I start sweating, pick up somethings -WHERE ARE THE MANIKINS??? They at least can give me some ideas - show me how to put things together! I am a visual learner - is there a catalog? I try several things on - lumpy, hanging off, too much of me showing, oh I don't know, is this cute? I don't even know if these match! I end up shopping for a few hours, coming home empty handed and wearing something old anyway. It doesn't zip all the way up and I have to pull it up way too high. Yes - I know you don't care - but it feels good to ramble ...or as my friend would call it "sharing mental vomit." The positive - I don't spend much money on clothes at all! :)

So funny!

2007-04-19T16:05:00.000-05:00

Is it bad to steal something from someone else's blog? It may not be the best ettiquette - but what I read on my friend Marla Taviano's blog was so funny - I have to share it with others. [Marla - tell me if it bothers you that I stole your funniness:)]

How To Tell Whether or Not You Are Ready to Have Children:

1. The Mess Test:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

2.) The Toy Test:
Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)

3.) The Grocery Store Test:
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight, and pay for anything they eat or damage.

4.) The Dressing Test:
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into small net bag, making sure that all arms stay inside.

5.) The Feeding Test:
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Froot Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

6.) The Night Test:
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up a dozen more and sing these, too, until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

7.) The Physical Test (Women):
Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now, remove 10 of the beans.

8.) Physical Test (Men):
Go to the nearest drugstore. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

9.) The Final Assignment:
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

I can't stop laughing. Whoever wrote this is a genius.

We have had a good day today. The sun was shining. I took Megan to swimming lessons for the first time. I dont' get to spend as much time alone with her since she is the second. She has always loved the water and has had no trouble going under and trying to swim since she was 1 and a half. So I thought today would be so fun - a breeze. Wouldn't you know that she cried - no screamed - while holding my neck with a death grip - for the entire 30 minutes of the lesson. I wouldn't be surprised if I had Katherine and she had done that - that is more of her personality, but I thought for sure Megan would love it! She did love the last fifteen minutes when she got to take off the VEST (I think THAT was the culprit) and could play however she wanted. Later she told me - "Mom, I cried during swimming lessons. I was so scared. I kept holding your neck with both of my hands so that I would not fall." Hmmmm...I think we will try again next week...maybe we will forego the vest!

Great day today -

2007-04-18T22:51:00.000-05:00

Let me first show you a photo of how my creative daughter (the almost five year old) topped her pizza today! She helped me "decorate" her pizza deciding to make a pepperoni face. She actually got out cooking scissors to cut up the pepperoni into eyelash shapes...she was going to add freckles too, but ate them first! She loves to make things, draw - anything artsy. I'll post some of her drawings in the next week.

It was a beautiful, sunny day today! For me that usually means eye-ball headaches. Anyone else get those? If I am not wearing dark sunglasses, it is likely that I will have an intense headache almost immediately that doesn't go away easily...but I love the sun anyway! I actually visited a friend and they allowed me to use their studio photography lights - I've only shot with natural light or an on-camera flash - Wow - what a difference indoors! It was fun! I have always been a sucker for outdoor photography in a natural setting - just chasing kids around, letting them do what they do best and catching them in the moment, but I enjoyed the change! I also shot RAW for the first time today. The quality was incredibly better than JPEG - may have to do some research on that!

Here are five things about me you may not know:
1. I was shot in a late night toilet papering incident in high school - thought I was dying, but it was only a pellet gun we discovered after calling 9-1-1
2. My hair was shorter than many guys hair in elementary school and people always were mistaking me for a boy. In fact I was Tom Sawyer in a play down in front of the state house in 5th grade.
3. I made a basket for the wrong team when I played basketball in 7th grade
4. In Ecuador on a missions trip, I stood in both the Northern and Southern hemisphere at the same time. Did you know the toilet flushes different directions in different hemispheres?
5. When I was little, one of my most favorite things to do was to catch my dad's pop flies in the back yard. He could throw them higher than anyone else and it was so challenging to try to catch every one!
Have a great day today! My challenge to you: Think of at least one thing to thank God for right now - and think of one compliment to give someone else right now (you can call or email if they aren't around).

Just catching up

2007-04-17T16:13:00.000-05:00

Been a little busy the last couple of weeks. Had lots to blog about - but no time! I actually made a list, but can't find it... I have been doing some graphic design and photography - just enough to keep me busy.

This ball is the first non-princessy, non- super-girly interest my almost-five-year-old daughter has had in a long time! She actually asked us for a pink basketball and a hoop. She loves to play - it is so cute. I am sure it is only a phase, but a nice distraction from everything princess! By the way, the cute ball is from target! I can't believe she will be five this month. It seems like I was just in high school and now I am 31 with a five year old! Yikes! I have been planning her first-ever friend birthday party - it is so much fun. I actually get to use my creative energy for something family related!

I don't watch the news much - but of course I have tuned in to the Virginia Tech tragedy the past two days. It is so horrible! The news is just a daily reminder of the evil in the world and keeps me grateful for my life. I am thankful for all that God has given me - I have so much more than what I need in every since of the word, and I am grateful for the hope of heaven. I will keep those people in my prayers as well as the many other suffering people in the world. Blessings to you today...

Trichotillomania

2007-04-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

Ever heard of it? (Trichotillomania) My 2.5 year old daughter, Megan, has it. She has for a while, but I never really researched it or counted it as something "real." It is a condition that causes people to pull their hair out. Sounds like a habit doesn't it? It really has some chemical connections with the brain, etc. I feel badly for her. She gets different bald spots - and at first when the doctor told me "She might grow out of it" I thought he was crazy. What teenage girl pulls her hair out? Apparently, lots of them if they have this problem and it is really distressing for them. Anyhow, here are some pictures of her hair...we tried a crew cut so she couldn't pull...didn't work. We have taped her fingers together, had her wear a swim hat, and put gloves on her...none worked. We just pray she will grow out of it. She is still cute - even somewhat balding:). Here is a scrapbook page I did about it a few months ago. Don't get me wrong - of all the diseases a kid could have, this is certainly not the worst!

New Curtains

2007-04-17T15:55:00.000-05:00

Okay - I just wrote a really long blog to make up for all of my not-blogging and somehow it got deleted...so, I'll write "in pieces"...I finally finished the curtains for my office! The photos hanging here were matted on chipboard and sanded - and then I applied black rub-ons to the top. Got the idea from Donna Downey's book Photo Decor - (which I love by the way - has lots of fun ideas for decorating with photos). I also am so thankful for my own space to sit and be creative!

Who needs fancy toys

2007-04-04T19:26:00.000-05:00

when kids have an imagination? I have been trying to help the kids learn to dial 9-1-1 on pretend phones in case there would ever be an emergency. They are 2.5 and almost 5. We decided to play pretend hurt and doctor and nurse. We don't have any doctor toys anymore - but the kids came up with all sorts of things. As I was laying on the floor...Megan (the 2 year old) kept pretending to pour water in my mouth and rub my head. Katherine got a drumstick and put in my mouth to take my temperature. She said I had a fever of 80 and would have to stay in the hospital for 50 days. She put on her sunglasses to look in my throat. Then she gave me her prized posession - her bear. Looking around for something else....She grabbed a cash register and scanner. She said she needed to listen to my heart "beep." So, she punched in some numbers, held the scanner to my chest and started saying "beep...beep...beep..." so creative! She also made me warm soup and wiped my brown with an apron. What fun!!! If only we could live in the moment more often and make something fun out of nothing!!

1990...

2007-04-04T19:24:00.000-05:00

Another one of my favorite photos. Believe it or not, this is my husband and I the summer we first started dating. Kevin was going into 8th grade and I was going into 9th. He had a broken ankle; I was dressed up in some weird pippy long-stockingish style (totally spontaneous and fun!); and we were playing some Nintendo game. Funny eh? Beth if you are reading this, I think you and Dan (my cousin) were there at this time???

I don't know about you, but I love to look at old pictures and relive moments...

You knit me together...

2007-04-04T19:21:00.000-05:00

in my mother's womb...Psalm 139. This is one of my all time favorite photos - lots of controversy behind it and stirred by it....but this is a 21 week old baby in utero having a spina bifida surgery. He is fine now, by the way. It is from 1999 - but I was reminded of it when I passed by House on TV last night.

I was away for awhile....

2007-03-31T06:55:00.000-05:00

We visited my grandma and grandpa for a few days over this last week. They were celebrating their 60th anniversary - pretty amazing, eh? I don't think many people reach that mark. To get there, we had about a 9 hour drive through some beautiful mountains and rolling hills. So much uninterrupted land...old covered bridges. As much of an anxious driver (and rider) as I am, I enjoyed soaking up the natural beauty. God is good and so creative. I can't imagine how beautiful the garden of Eden must have been!

We went to the zoo yesterday - was fun but a bit crowded and hot (believe it or not) for my tastes. It was definitely good to be outside though. We ALL were in bed by 9:00 pm wiped out.

I am truly attempting to keep a food diary and count my calories. I have never really been obsessed with weight and eating but I have gained a steady 15-18 pounds in the last two years and it is time to get a handle on the issue...especially if we don't end up having any more kids (which I sure would like another:) -Kevin if you are reading this - he he). So I have learned that if I cut back my caloric intake by food or exercise by about 3500 per week, I should lose about one pound a week. The more I research the more I think I can be self-controlled. It is always exciting to take on a new challenge! In my latin dance aerobics class last week (it is a hoot!), the lady next to me burned 934 calories in one hour according to her heart rate monitor (I need to get one of those).

Encouragement for the day - Take heart and remind yourself that your are made in the image of God and if you are a believer, are filled with the Holy Spirit. God is working in you and thourgh you and is thouroughly involved in the problems and pressures you will go through on this day. You are also a part of the plan of God and He is working in you and through you to carry out His good and perfect purpose. Today has significance and meaning.

You are blessed!

2007-03-31T06:51:00.000-05:00

The girls and I were walking into the gym where I exercise this week. It was a beautiful sunny spring day. A gentleman looked at them and then at me and said; "Wow - you sure are blessed!"
I thought - "Man, he is really right." I love how he said that - He didn't say, you have two beautiful girls...or don't they grow up fast? His simple words allowed me to take a deep breath in and soak up the moment to realize that yes, I AM blessed!

31 Things I am Praising God for Today

2007-03-21T13:32:00.000-05:00

Okay - I know I could think of many more than 31 - but that is how old I am, so here goes:

Jesus Christ saving me and offering a life-long relationship with Him
a handsome, extremely wonderful husband of almost ten years who loves Christ and me and the girls with all of his heart
waking up to two beautiful, happy-in-the-morning girls who I get to spend every day at home with
family in town so that when I don't want to be with them we have free babysitters:) (kind-of kidding)
a date night with my husband this past Sunday. We ate at the Cheesecake Factory (with a gift card - which I am thankful for too) and watching the movie Amazing Grace (see it if you haven't. Talk about passion, conviction, and perserverance - and a reminder of the cruelty slaves endured)
Megan is healthy after a whooping cough test and severel tests on her stools (I never knew what was in that stuff until you get to dig through it for a week)
Spring is coming and the sun is out!!!
This peaceful time right now when everything is quite
My mom's freedom from breast cancer for almost ten years
My dad's job
My husband's relatively new job and the wonderful Godly people he gets to work with on a daily basis
The fact that my two year old waits by the door for daddy to get home in her Snow White dress...and when he pulls up, she starts screaming "My prince has come for me" over and over. She still wants to marry her daddy:)
Romans - I sure have learned a lot studying that book this year
People who are able to show grace to others like this amazing couple I read about on Dr. Brown's blog today. Read the Tues. March 20th post - check it out here.
Miss Katie - she is amazing for my almost five year old
tennis shoes and pony tails
parks, soccer balls, and kites
Dr. Doherty - he loves Jesus and I wouldn't want anyone else as my kids doctor
America - freedom to serve God without fear
my larger-than-I-need house and my warm bed
the fact that there is no type of clutter police - I would be in serious trouble
memories
the ability to run around and play with my kids - I know as I get older I won't be able to do that
rocking my daughters as I read to them
we were able to exercise and go swimming today (and they still let me in the pool even though I forgot my suit and had to roll my pants up to my thighs - he he)
a so-much-better-than-expected basketball season for my husband (who is a coach) - and the reality that Winning is MORE than just points on a scoreboard...so many other amazing things have come out of this season
God's unconditional love
our new kitchen counter - it gives us so much more space
money to pay the bills
a minivan to borrow for a looooong car ride this weekend...otherwise I would be squished inbetween two car seats in a Saturn for almost 10 hours
a Barbie (personally not a big Barbie fan normally) picture book that actually is all about her playing basketball! When is Disney going to make books about the princesses wearing shorts or pants or playing sports??? My daughter wouldn't wear pants for a year because she was convinced that princesses dont' wear pants! I could ramble about that forever...another day...maybe.

What are you praising God for today?

What Not to Wear

2007-03-21T13:29:00.000-05:00

Just watched that show last week when we were confined to the house for a few days...I cannot believe that no one who knows me well hasn't signed me up. I felt like they were documenting my life!!! Crazy! (I write as I sit in myoversized sweatshirt, long t-shirt that is too big and hangs out the bottom, non-matching capris and workout socks. Of course, my hair is in a pony tail and I have no make-up on...hmmm - maybe I should look nice for when my husband comes home...I think I have a nice shirt from high school: he he he))

So what now?...wait it out?

2007-03-21T13:09:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in a while because I realized that all of my posts were so depressing and deep. If you know me, thtq is not really my outward personality. I am quite silly IRL. Journaling has always been a part of my life though, and I tend to use it when I am upset and frazzled. Generally by the end of my ramblings, I am back on focus where God wants me to be. In addition, lots of things we are faced with every day are depressing and frustrating and those are things that drive me to write. SO - I am writing about what is on my heart - not something that will make you want to jump up and down and shout for joy - but I promise my next post will be happy:).

I am reading a book by Lee Strobel called God's Outrageous Claims. In it, he tells a story about a father who called him from the ICU. The man's daughter had just been hit by a drunk driver and was now brain dead. He goes on to say:

What happened to my friend...is going to happen to you. It may not be the same sort of tragedy, but it is ineveitable that you - someday, shomehow - will experience the kind of soul-piercing heartbreak that comes from a loss too painful to bear. You are not immune and neither am I. (Yikes! - my input)

Jesus said as much; "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." (Wow that is pretty cool! - again from me)) God was saying with clarity that we live in a place that has been distorted and corrupted by sin, and we will have to suffer the consequences during the time that we are here....

Mr. Strobel goes on to also talk about the hope that Jesus offers and the peace and courage we can receive when our life has been turned upside down. When I read that, I felt like my thoughts and fears had been written down on paper by someone else. I wonder so often, when is it "the big tragedy" going to strike me...So, what now? Do I just sit here and wait and wonder and fret?

No - I take each day - knowing I can only control itty bitty pieces of it - I thank God for it and seek to serve Him wholeheartedly and use it for His glory. Okay, I could go on and on but I'll stop there.

Fear...

2007-03-06T06:41:00.000-05:00

My friend Kama and I were talking about FEAR last night - the kind of fear that starts to invade our thoughts and becomes consuming...the kind that you don't really want to imagine or think about. Let me clarify, I am not talking about my fear of the dark - or of pleasing people (although those are real) I am not talking about the fear I had when I was little of tipping over in a canoe and fish touching my feet - or when I was in middle school and I laughed to hard..mmm..well we will not go there...In I John it says, There is no fear in love... and God is love. But I am increasingly aware of these fears - They are not totally unfounded in regards to earth's standards. The older I get, the more I know about all of the awful things that go on in this world - the horrible things that happen to kids and adults, the disease, the heartache. I think I must be getting to the age when bad things are going to happen to my parents and my friends. Which one of my friends will be the first to get cancer - or will it be me? It is bound to happen, because this life is temporary and our bodies are not perfect.

Why is it so frightening to think about? Is it the feeling that I am not in control? Things aren't supposed to happen to our parents - they should always be around. As far as me, I want to see my kids grow up and get married (my five year old talks about her wedding constantly:))

When my mind starts wandering away like that, am I setting my mind on things above as it says in Colossians 3? Am I letting the peace of God rule in my heart? Hmmm...How about I just accept that bad things will happen. Not sure when. There is no point in worrying. Jesus told his disciples in Luke 12 not to worry about their lives.

I vividly remember almost ten years ago when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was calling to ask her a question at work and the receptionist had told me that she had gone home early. I asked why and she said maybe I should just call home. I knew my mom had had a biopsy that morning - not her first - but this didn't sound good. I was at work myself, a part- time job in college. I hung up the phone and started crying. I knew. After talking to my mom, she confirmed my suspicions - breast cancer. Soon after, she would have a double mastectomy, her lymph nodes removed, and radiation and chemotherapy. My husband and I were both in college and newlyweds and I remember telling him that if she was really sick, we would have to have a child now because I wanted her to meet our children. Anyway, almost ten years later, she is doing really well, and God allowed her to be healed on earth. I am thankful for that - beyond words.

I know many people He hasn't chosen to heal on earth. Their healing (if they are a believer) is in heaven...which in all honesty, doesn't get any better than that. Obviously death is incredibly difficult, crushing, for us because it is a separation for us, but it is temporary. I am sure in the moment, or in this life, temporary seems like it is just too long. I can't imagine what it is like and I don't want to have to experience any of that prematurely. But - when my mind starts to wander, let me remember that God is good. We shouldn't fear circumstances on earth - He tells us in John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

What are you afraid of? The past...the future...Nail it to the cross. Leave it there. God wants to take your burden and give you peace. You are not in control anyway. Relinquish and rest. If you have to physically write down your fear (s) and get a piece of wood and nail it there - do it - it will serve as a visual reminder. And praise God that He is your wonderful Counselor, mighty God, everlasting Father, and your Prince of Peace.

Encouragement for those of us with old cars...

2007-03-05T15:36:00.000-05:00

Saw a funny bumper sticker yesterday on an older car...It said:

Don't let the car fool you;
My treasure is in Heaven.

Thought that was cute. I keep reminding myself of that:).

-AM

Put into perspective. Again.

2007-03-03T22:14:00.000-05:00

I am tired, and sore. Great workout yesterday, but I am feeling it today. As far as the tired part, our house is more out of control then normal. We are remodeling part of our kitchen and it is all over the house, furniture is not in the right place, utensils are everywhere, can you say clutter? And do you know how hard it is to change the sheets when your kids are jumping on the bed? So, I don't feel like doing anything but being lazy.

Every time I turn on the TV, I feel like I am being followed. Followed by the latest tragedies - today it is the horrible Bluffton baseball team bus accident and the tornado that ripped through the High School in Alabama. They both don't seem like something that actually happened. Rather they feel like a storyline for a movie or book. It couldn't possibly be true that someone had to live through that, could it? These remind me of some other vivid tragedies. You know, the kind where you can remember exactly where you were when they happened - like the tragic events of 9-11, or the shooting at Columbine, or the space shuttle Challenger exploding in the air...just to name a few. I can't imagine how it must feel to be in the midst of a crisis like that - or even dealing with a family illness or some other type of disheartening event or circumstance.

So often people wonder how could there possibly be a God if bad stuff like this happens...and lots of bad stuff does happen. I don't pretend to know God's thoughts - but I know God. And I hold tight to what I know as truth...

God is good (Rom 12:2, Luke 18:19, Phil 2:13...)
He is sovereign and has a plan (Jer 19:11, Ps. 115:3, Matt 19:26)
He will never leave us (Deut. 31:6)
I need to trust Him even though I can't possibly understand His holy ways (Is 55:8-9, Prov 3:5-6)
Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:37-39)
Ultimately I will be in heaven - a place much better than here - because of God's sacrifice of His Son Jesus for me...by grace through faith (John 3:16, Eph 2:8-9, I Cor. 15:2-6,

Yes - there is a lot more truth. I know. But those are just a few things that keep me grounded when horrible, sinful things happen. Today on the radio I heard the song Praise You in the Storm by Casting Crowns. It isn't a new song, but sometimes the lyrics of a song seem to jump out at me and grab me in a way I haven't noticed or really heard before. Here is the chorus:

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Do you think you could really praise Him in the storm - What if you had a loved one who was killed on that bus - or maybe you have lost a loved one recently...or at any time. Could you praise Him in the storm? Another song that really gets me to think is I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp. Here are a few lyrics - written by him after losing his young wife.

Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain

[Chorus:]
I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear
even when answers slowly unwind
it's my heart I see You prepare
but its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
from every finger tip, washing away my pain

I could go on and on. God is good. He is faithful. He is trustworthy. And I hate that I have to see tragic events sometimes to have my piddly problems put into perspective. I am grateful for His grace and mercy and that they never end. Lamentations 3:22 says:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

I will continue to pray for the Bluffton families and the tornado victim's families as well.

Books & getting away from it all...

2007-02-27T14:34:00.000-05:00

...even if for only 15 minutes at a time.

I am really enjoying reading!!! Prior to this summer, the only things I have read in the past fifteen years include parenting how-to books, Christian living, devotional books, the Bible, kids books, etc. I can't tell you how many I have started and haven't finished. Ughhh.. I cannot stay focused!!!

On a relaxing vacation this past summer, I decided to try reading a fiction book. I finished two in three days. My favorite was Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Wow - it made me fall in love with God all over again! (which I should be doing daily anyhow) It is a vivid portrayal of how deep and tender - how persistent and unconditional God's love is. I felt changed just by reading it and getting to know and love the characters. I was so sad when I finished! In fact, I am sure I will read it again - except I may use the study guide (Bible study) with it next time.

Most recently I have been reading the O'Malley series by Dee Henderson. Danger in the Shadows is a prequel and I think I am on book four of the actual series. The characters are heroic, yet real and I enjoy the way the family plays out throughout all of the books. In each book, the characters are faced with some part of God's character or Christianity - God's grace and mercy...justice...prayer, etc. The books are suspenseful and romantic - and a nice way to take a mental vacation from life!!

Speaking of books, I met a neat girl this past year who has released two of her own - Her name is Marla Taviano and her books are titled From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife and Is That All He Thinks About? (about s-e-x) Both are written in an easy to read style - very similar to the The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy - type books. I laughed quite a lot and read them both in a few short days.

ALSO - thanks to Elizabeth Jackson, Jim Hicks, and Mike Colon for adding the Thirst Badge to their websites/blogs. I KNOW we can get more than 4 donations:).

THANK YOU FOR PRAYING - UPDATE!

2007-02-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

Emma Lovelace, the little girl I asked you to pray for two days ago, is doing GREAT. She is still on a ventilator to assist her breathing slightly. I am sorry I didn't update this sooner but the mom actually got sick herself and I wasn't able to get an update because of her feeling awful! Spend your day praising the Lord for His merciful works!

Several parents have told me that the one thing they would have changed in their parenting is that they wished they would have prayed for their children more. It's overwhelming to think of all the things we want to pray for in regards to our children. You may have seen this before, but it is a parent's prayer calendar. It was developed by Bob Hostetler. It has qualities or attributes that you can pray for your children each day of the month - and it can be used for every month of the year, repeating. For example, on Jan 1 and Feb 1 and March 1..., I would pray for my kids salvation. Anyway, I just wanted to pass it on. Have a wonderful weekend!

{Now I need to go wipe the poop off of my hands since my daughter just loaded her pants and when I picked her up to change her - well, you can figure it out....}

Wall Inspiration

2007-02-22T13:48:00.000-05:00

FOCUS - Let us fix our eyes on Jesus...Hebrews 12:2.

That is what is written on our office wall directly above my computer work space. It is a constant reminder. I need reminders.

Where is your focus?

To Him who IS able...

2007-02-21T08:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I wrote about Thirst and how we can tangibly help a cause by donating money. Sometimes we feel helpless in a situation because there is nothing we can do but pray. I am sure we have all been there at some point in our lives - for some of us, it is daily. I read something in high school that said:

So often in a helpless situation
when I have reached the end of my resources
I have nothing left to do
but totally rely on You Lord -
when actually that is the safest,
most secure place to be.

There is no place like our Father's arms.

My good friend Lara Hicks called last night and asked me to pray and spread the word - A young couple - Jen Stark and Chris Lovelace - need your prayers today. PLEASE. They had a baby last week - baby was healthy throughout pregnancy and delivery but swallowed some of it's own bowel movement in the womb. The meconium coated the baby's lungs and as a result he/she (I don't know if they had a boy or girl - I will refer to the baby as he) has been on life support ever since. They tried taking him off of life support and letting him breath alone but he started to crash so the doctors have given the baby until tomorrow. Then they will take him off of life support for good. Pray for healing for this baby and strength and peace for the family. Today is critical. Thanks.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Help save lives - and change the world!

2007-02-20T13:29:00.000-05:00

Water - clean water. Something we totally take for granted.

Thirst Relief Internationa l exists to provide the basic necessity of clean drinking water to those in need around the world. Check out Thirst's website - or this quick video clip. There is a lot of great information there - like the fact that nearly 2 million people die annually (90% of which are children under the age of 5) simply because they lack access to clean drinking water. It so great to know that you can help save a life for only $5! It is so simple - and yet profoundly life changing for those who lack clean water.

Here is how you can help in an extra special way:

You and I have the opportunity to raise even more money for Thirst Relief International! We could receive a matching grant of up to $10,000. People have created charity badges through a website called www.SixDegrees.org for their charities all over the country. The six badges that have the most number of donations between January 18th and March 31st at 11:59pm ET will get a matching grant from Kevin Bacon (the actor). (Keep in mind that multiple donations from a single individual to the same Six Degrees Charity Badge will only be counted once, although spouses could donate separately).

The process is easy; I have already created a Six Degrees Charity Badge for Thirst. I have posted it on the top of my blog and website and others will be joining me later this week on their websites and blogs. I fully believe that Thirst could get enough donations to receive a matching grant. The six charities with the highest NUMBER of donations - not total amount - will receive the matching grants. Here are the top six as of today. We need your help though!

Thirst Relief International together with you and www.sixdegrees.com – saving lives, changing the world. Please join me in donating and share this with others you know! (minimum donation is $10).

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" Matthew 25: 40

"He who gives to the poor will lack nothing,
but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses." Proverbs 28:27

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

Ideas. Lots of them. Scattered. Unfinished.

2007-02-19T14:13:00.000-05:00

Yeah – I have plenty of them. Many are pretty good ones. The problem…I have so many ideas that I got all disorganized and distracted and my thoughts become SCATTERED, unfocused. Then, I start a lot of things and don’t finish many. Some I forget about – in the moment, only to remember them somewhere down the line. I think about how good of an idea it was originally and try to work on it a little bit more until I lose all focus again.

Like now, I should be cleaning the house. The kids are quiet. It seemed like such a good idea. Then I realized that I wanted to start a blog – I needed to start a blog so that I could share ideas and help make a positive difference in this world. I hadn’t posted on my blog yet. Hmmm…wouldn’t it be great to start another blog called “Pass it on” or “Pay it forward?” It would be ideas or concrete projects that people could do to encourage someone else or help another in need. I know so many people who could use encouragement or need financial help.

Here is an example of an idea I had in high school – I thought I would draw this picture of my then boyfriend (now husband). He was quite the basketball player and I loved watching him play. I am not an artist so this would take me a lot of patient work. So I found this yesterday.

It is the sketch I started almost fourteen years ago. Notice – it is almost finished – not quite. I remember being frustrated because I couldn’t get his ear right. So, wouldn’t it be great to finish it now and give it to him as a gift? Hmmm…where is that photo I was using? Oh – I can’t seem to find it. I’ll just set it aside for another time – here in my to do pile. It is only as tall as the dresser.

I was planning a lot of other great things:

Sending at least one encouragement note to someone (could be anonymously) every week – the kids had to do it too. We would also visit the nursing home once every two weeks – they need to learn to do kind things for others.

Organizing all of my recipes and putting them in a binder.

Painting a verse on my daughter's wall about how she is a princess – a daughter of the King of Kings. Haven't done that yet.

Making the closet by the garage a place to store all hats and mittens and gloves and boots and making sure everything had a place at a height where the kids could reach.

Doing a scrapbook for each year that Kevin and I have been married. Eac two page spread would have a picture of us and info about the year - what was going on in our lives and in the world...the average price of a home or car...popular shows or songs, etc. Wouldn't it be great to look back after 25 years of marriage and see how we have changed and how the world has changed? I still hope to do this one.

Making a prayer schedule of family, friends, government, etc and actually sticking to it daily…along with my weekly exercise schedule...and cleaning schedule...and monthly journaling schedule….Phewww….

This could be depressing. God loves me and created me in a way that allows me to think of others and try to make situations better. My husband calls me the most organized, disorganized person he knows. I must be creative right? He has given me the desire to do whatever I am doing 110% and when things get a little too hectic, I am thankful to realize that I am so far from perfect. I fall short daily – moment by moment. But he loves me anyway and by his grace and mercy allows me to be His child. I pray that I can focus on the important things of the day and give grace to others when they don’t meet the expectations set out before them, just as God has extended His grace to me.

What a wonderful gracious God we serve. Welcome to my blog – quite an introduction. I am sure you will have your fill of pieces of me.