Fear...

My friend Kama and I were talking about FEAR last night - the kind of fear that starts to invade our thoughts and becomes consuming...the kind that you don't really want to imagine or think about. Let me clarify, I am not talking about my fear of the dark - or of pleasing people (although those are real) I am not talking about the fear I had when I was little of tipping over in a canoe and fish touching my feet - or when I was in middle school and I laughed to hard..mmm..well we will not go there...In I John it says, There is no fear in love... and God is love. But I am increasingly aware of these fears - They are not totally unfounded in regards to earth's standards. The older I get, the more I know about all of the awful things that go on in this world - the horrible things that happen to kids and adults, the disease, the heartache. I think I must be getting to the age when bad things are going to happen to my parents and my friends. Which one of my friends will be the first to get cancer - or will it be me? It is bound to happen, because this life is temporary and our bodies are not perfect.

Why is it so frightening to think about? Is it the feeling that I am not in control? Things aren't supposed to happen to our parents - they should always be around. As far as me, I want to see my kids grow up and get married (my five year old talks about her wedding constantly:))

When my mind starts wandering away like that, am I setting my mind on things above as it says in Colossians 3? Am I letting the peace of God rule in my heart? Hmmm...How about I just accept that bad things will happen. Not sure when. There is no point in worrying. Jesus told his disciples in Luke 12 not to worry about their lives.

I vividly remember almost ten years ago when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was calling to ask her a question at work and the receptionist had told me that she had gone home early. I asked why and she said maybe I should just call home. I knew my mom had had a biopsy that morning - not her first - but this didn't sound good. I was at work myself, a part- time job in college. I hung up the phone and started crying. I knew. After talking to my mom, she confirmed my suspicions - breast cancer. Soon after, she would have a double mastectomy, her lymph nodes removed, and radiation and chemotherapy. My husband and I were both in college and newlyweds and I remember telling him that if she was really sick, we would have to have a child now because I wanted her to meet our children. Anyway, almost ten years later, she is doing really well, and God allowed her to be healed on earth. I am thankful for that - beyond words.

I know many people He hasn't chosen to heal on earth. Their healing (if they are a believer) is in heaven...which in all honesty, doesn't get any better than that. Obviously death is incredibly difficult, crushing, for us because it is a separation for us, but it is temporary. I am sure in the moment, or in this life, temporary seems like it is just too long. I can't imagine what it is like and I don't want to have to experience any of that prematurely. But - when my mind starts to wander, let me remember that God is good. We shouldn't fear circumstances on earth - He tells us in John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

What are you afraid of? The past...the future...Nail it to the cross. Leave it there. God wants to take your burden and give you peace. You are not in control anyway. Relinquish and rest. If you have to physically write down your fear (s) and get a piece of wood and nail it there - do it - it will serve as a visual reminder. And praise God that He is your wonderful Counselor, mighty God, everlasting Father, and your Prince of Peace.