Parenting

I was in a Bible Study this year that was very different than any other I have participated in. There were a lot of rules. So many rules that I had declined the invitation for a few years prior to this one. I don't not like rules - I am a first child. I kind of like them to be honest. However, in this type of a setting, I am not extremely comfortable with restrictions on how to learn about and worship God and how to share that with others around me. Consequently, throughout the year I was able to see the purpose behind many of the rules. Over all, they allowed our learning to be maximized and the ultimate goal to be accomplished - glorifying God, learning from His Word, spending time with Him, fellowship, etc. I still don't like all of the rules - but I can at least appreciate them and see the difference they make.

When I was a teacher, I started off understanding the importance of rules, routines and discipline, but I didn't know exactly how to teach and enforce them. Teaching became much more enjoyable and less stressful once I improved in that area. And no - the kids didn't start not-liking me...Rather I think we gained a mutual respect for each other.

So, on to parenting. My husband and I are not really push-overs and we believe in discipline. Willful disobedience and disrespect are two non-tolerable offenses. BUT there are many areas of parenting that I think we have let slide. It is hard to find a balance between having fun and enjoying each other and using good manners or being civilized. For example, when we go shopping, I like for the kids to be able to look at things and try them out. That is what I do when I want to think about getting something new. Some parents won't let their kids touch anything. Now (thanks to me), shopping at times can be unbearable. The kids don't stay by my side, they were climbing in the tubs and toilets at Lowes, etc. I wonder - should I have serious rules and tell them they have to stand right by my side and not touch anything (that would be safer). But what about when we are trying to kill time and I want them to look at the toys. What about when we eat dinner at home or in a restaurant? Should they be forced to sit perfectly still (if that is possible - with some kids I don't think it is at a young age)? Should they use proper manners and not be silly or not play with their food? If so, can you ever break the rule? My Bible Study's rules only work because they are enforced 100% of the time. IT is hard to have a conversation at the dinner table with a 3 year old and 5 year old. They want to dip their food in their drinks and make funny noises, etc.

I have often thought we should take one day a week to practice scenarios. We all have better chances of succeeding in a task if we know the expectations first and have been able to practice. Let's take shopping for example - we practice at home first - then go to the store. They have to stay by my side and can't touch anything. They have to obey everything I say. I could score them as we went along (a star every time they follow the rules) - That sounds a little bit like dog training:) actually...I honestly don't know the answer. I want to have fun and let them be kids - but I want them to be respectful and responsible to.

Any ideas?